Navigating Aunt Carol This Holiday Season with Julie Voris

Hey and welcome back to the Crank It Up Podcast. Well, we are just a couple days out from the actual holiday of Christmas. And whether you celebrate Christmas or another holiday, the month of December is pretty packed with a lot of stuff.

Yeah? I mean, it’s packed with festivities, family, events, concerts, shows, kids’ stuff, tension, drama, family stress, all the things. And I’ve really been talking about it a lot both on my Instagram stories, in my broadcast channel, here on the podcast, anywhere that I can talk about it, I am talking about holiday stress and really how to navigate it because, as I’m sure you know, the I did not navigate it well for a very long time, for a lot of years. 

Strategies for Thriving Amid Family Dynamics and Food Pressures

As I’ve said so many times for a lot of years, I spent October 31st to January 1st really just hanging on by my fingernails, and that is nowhere that’s just no way to live. No one should be spending 2 out of the 12 months a year stressed and anxious and frustrated and jJust trying to survive what is arguably one of the most beautiful times of the year. 

It can be one of the most beautiful times of the year because it does lend itself to more family gatherings and time with family. But yet, that, in and of itself, also lends itself to more tension and more stress. 

And when I’ve asked, you know, my friends on Instagram, when I’ve asked my broadcast community, when I’ve asked my business colleagues, when I’ve just asked in general, like, what stresses you out about the holidays? 

It comes down to food, it comes down to family, it comes down to finances, the 3 f’s. Right? Food, family, finances.

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Now I’m not really a money expert. I can tell you that your money mindset has everything to do with your personal growth. I can tell you that because I’ve constantly had to work on my own money mindset. 

You, if you are a female listening to this, need to work on your money mindset. Females notoriously need work on their money mindset. And I really wanna talk about the food and the family piece of it because I just wanna give you, I just wanna give you a little hype and a little love and a and a little virtual hug and a high five and a reminder. Listen. You got this.

Understanding The Impact of The Holiday Season on Mental Health and Well-Being

If you’re heading into what could feel like a really stressful day in Christmas or another holiday or just a family gathering, this idea of food being stressful. It’s a work in progress, and it’s something that we have to work on. 

We cannot shirk our responsibility on working on this. But the idea of food being stressful and the idea of eating and being around sweets and temptation and all of that, there’s so much of that that is made up in our heads, and I say that as someone who definitely has struggled with and continues to work through disordered eating. 

That is mindset and personal growth for a lot of us. You know, certainly, there are some very real eating issues that need deeper structured professional therapy. I’m just really talking about the stress that you feel when you get off schedule or you go to the table and someone comments on what you’re eating. Anyone feel that? 

Like, I feel like my entire life when someone comments on what you’re eating, the comments on what you’re not eating, comments on why you’re eating, or just any of that, that is super stressful, and I get that. And here’s what I have learned.

Your New 4-Word Mantra For Handling Negative Comments

First I’m gonna give you a response that can shut down conversations, and then I’m gonna give you a reminder. So if you are struggling with food stress and you’re struggling with conversations around what you’re eating or not eating or any of that. 

Here’s your response. You might be right. Literally, that’s all you say. You might be right. Four words. When someone says, oh my gosh.

Why aren’t you eating? You should be eating this. Do you want more? You say, you might be right, and you go on because no one can argue with the fact that you just told them that they might be right. It’s so silly. It’s so simple. Use it. Use it liberally. Use it often. Use it all the time.

Those 4 words are your new magic mantra. You might be right. 

And then just go on doing whatever the heck you were doing, however you wanna do it. You might be right because all that person hears is, oh, you know what? I might be right. K. So that’s your new mantra. Four words. You might be right.

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Secondly, with that food stress, that, my friend, you already know what I’m gonna say. It’s personal growth. It’s boundaries that you are more able to set because of the growth you have done inside you. 

Embracing Personal Growth as a Tool For Handling Holiday Stress

You and I, we cannot control what other people wanna say, what other people wanna do about how we eat, not eat, whatever it is at the holidays that’s stressing you out with regard to food. 

We cannot always control our holiday schedules, so we have to focus on our personal growth, setting boundaries and controlling the controllable. 

You and I cannot control what Auntie Carol might want to say, we can control our reaction, and if we decide, because it’s a decision, to let it bother us. We can decide that. Yes.

We can. That is something we are very much in control of. So with regard to the food stuff, just kinda the general tension and stress around food, which I feel that very much. 

I’ve been a work in progress in that for a very long time. I get it. Use the phrase, you might be right. Use it in all circumstances. I’m telling you it’s a game changing phrase.

And most importantly, you have to do the personal growth work around your food issues. You have to. Because we cannot control what other people might choose to say, we can certainly set some boundaries around it. 

We can certainly not be receptive to comments, but in terms of letting it bother us and letting it cause us stress, we’re in charge of that. We are in charge of that, and that is personal growth. It comes down to taking responsibility for our mental health, for our boundaries, for our growth. 

Because the holidays are going to come and go, are you going to let this stress dictate how you feel about it for the rest of your life? I decided I wasn’t gonna do that anymore. I just decided I wasn’t.

I was tired of being stressed. I was tired of being frustrated. I was tired of being anxious, and so I decided I better get to work doing something about it. Right? Because I cannot control anyone else. I cannot control what anyone else does. 

And sometimes I can’t even control the travel schedule, the holiday schedule. All I can control is me, my mindset, my boundaries, my preparation, my actions, my habits, and I get to control if someone else’s comments affect me. 

And, really, that goes for the next little bit of that that’s so tied in the family piece of it that causes so much stress.

Maintaining Calm and Confidence During The Holiday Season

Again, it comes back to taking responsibility for ourselves. This can be a super stressful time of the year because of family dynamics. This can also be made more stressful because we’ve chosen to make it more stressful. 

Sometimes holidays are hard. Why are we going to choose to make them harder? 

Sometimes family relationships are hard. Why are we going to choose to make them harder? 

This was literally a gut check lesson that I had to teach myself that, oh, this person and this person and this person in my family are never going to change. Never. And guess what? It’s not my job to change them.

“My job is to take responsibility for myself, my boundaries, my mindset, and my personal growth. And dig in and figure it out so that I can navigate the holidays calmly and with confidence in knowing that I’m making the right decisions for me and for my family.” – Julie

We let the fear of other people’s opinions have so much weight in our life, and that’s part of what makes the holidays stressful. And if we know that, why are we making them more stressful by going into the holidays already being stressed, and I’m speaking from experience because that was me. That was me. 

Get In The Driver’s Seat of Your Life and Commit to Daily Personal Growth

I had to get real serious about my personal growth, really serious about my personal growth and really serious about my boundaries and focus my energy on you know, for me, personally for me again, this for me, personally, I had to focus my energy on building my business and creating this life that we wanted to live on purpose with purpose. 

And then when those comments came in, those little side, little jabby comments that came in, they just were so silly almost to me because my energy was spent in building this business and building my life and creating experiences and opportunities for my family. 

And then when I looked at those people making the comments, I thought, well, I don’t wanna live your life. So then your comments really hold no weight for me.

Right? So, again, it comes back to taking responsibility for yourself, getting in the driver’s seat of your life, setting those boundaries and doing the work on your mindset. Okay. So how are you gonna do that? You already know that I’m a huge fan of the Growth Day app. I fill my head with personal development on purpose with purpose intentionally every single morning. 

Honestly, I think that’s the most convenient and simple tool to use. If it’s something else for you, awesome. But make sure you’re doing it consistently because personal growth doesn’t work just like fitness doesn’t work, nutrition doesn’t work or saving your money doesn’t work or relationships don’t work. Personal growth doesn’t work when we do it, only when we feel like it.

And it’s almost like taking an aspirin after you already have a headache. Like, eventually, the aspirin will help the headache, but it’s got a little catch up to do. Right? Well, what if you were doing personal development all the time, and so you eliminated that need for catch up.

Because going into the holidays, already being stressed, and making the holidays harder than they have to be. It’s kind of a recipe for more stress. But if we are doing personal development, if we’re committed to doing personal development, if we’re committed to spending our energy building the life that we want to live on purpose with purpose. 

If we are committed to creating the opportunities and the experiences for our families that we want to create. 

If we are committed to spending our energy and our time in the ways that we want to, it leaves very little time and energy to be concerned with comments that other people make. especially considering most of the time those other people aren’t living the kind of life that we wanna live. 

Now I’m not gonna tell you listening to this one podcast is gonna heal you, and you’re gonna walk into the holidays like, yes. But I am gonna tell you this is the kind of stuff you have to listen to and remind yourself of over and over and over again if you want to make a change. And I’ve used this example 1000000 times, but I’m gonna say it again.

I used to come down to Florida. I mean, I started my very 1st trip down here when it was when I was, like, 6 months old. I was born in November. I think our 1st trip was in June. So I was, like, 6 months old. 

And I’ve been coming ever since my parents bought a house down here when I was in high school. I’ve been coming to Florida, coming to Florida, coming to Florida. It was a siren’s call for me.

Like, I just felt like I needed to be here, and especially in college. I really remember in college. I would come down here, be at my parents’ house, and then I would go back to college, and I would be so sad. I would be so sad. 

And that continued all through adulthood. I would be so sad when I would leave Florida. And there just came a point in time in 2021 when I decided I was tired of being sad. I’m tired of being sad.

It’s time to do something about it. The holidays are similar. Then I got to a point navigating the holidays that I was simply unwilling to give up 2 months of my life every year being stressed, and it was on me to do something about it. 

I had to get in the driver’s seat and take responsibility for my life if I wanted to change. and you do too, it’s easy to think about all the things that stress us out. 

And when we do that, we actually magnify that stress. What if we took that energy and instead of thinking about all the things that stress us out all the time, maybe made a list of those items and then started getting proactive. 

What can we do to get our mindset, to get our heart in the right space to navigate the holidays with calm, with confidence, and with joy, and release that stress intention in this what can be a magical time of year. We have to decide to get in the driver’s seat of our life and do that on purpose with purpose.

Thrive During The Holidays and Find Joy

So remember your mantra, those magical four words, you might be right. Use them. I’m telling you. Use them all the time. You might be right. You might be right. 

And commit to personal growth every single day. It is a compound effect with it, kinda like working out every day or brushing your teeth every day or eating healthy every day, whatever it might be. 

It is a compound effect that when you are feeding your head and your heart with intentional good stuff, you get better.

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You know better, so you do better, and you get better. And you’re much more capable of setting those boundaries and releasing the stress intention and letting the comments from people whose lives you don’t want to live bounce off of you, and you’ll get on the other side of the stress intention. 

Once you’ve done the work and continue to do the work… and sometimes you’ll look back and you’ll wonder, gosh. Why did I let that bother me so much? Because that’s where I am. Why did I let that bother me so much? 

Because I was a baby. I was a baby on my personal growth journey. And the more personal growth I’ve done, the more I’ve dug in, the more deliberate I’ve gotten about it, the more mentors and coaches and daily work that I do, the more practice that I do, the more magical the holidays get, and I’m wishing that for you. 

I am wishing that for you. I want you to thrive during the holidays and beyond.

I want you to go into the new year feeling good. I want you to create the momentum and the traction and the joy that you want heading into a brand new year, 365 days stretched out in front of us to do with it what we want. 

That’s what I want for you. I want you to have the happiest, merriest, most joyous holiday season ever because you got in the driver’s seat, you took responsibility, and you did the work. I know you can do it. I believe in you. Now go crank up the joy on your holiday season. That’s it for this episode.

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Thank you so much for listening to the Crank It Up podcast. If you know a friend who would benefit from this I mean, who wouldn’t? If you know a friend who would benefit from this episode, this conversation around personal growth, will you share this episode with them? I would appreciate it. 

Let’s get the world, especially women, talking about personal growth. Let’s get the world, especially women, on an intentional personal growth journey.

Let’s get the world, especially women, talking about cranking up your goals, cranking up your dreams, and cranking up your life. 

Thank you so much. See you next time. That’s it for this episode.

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