What I’m Leaving Behind in 2023 with Julie Voris

Hey there. Welcome back to the Crank It Up podcast. So today’s guest is someone that I have a personal relationship with, and that’s because it’s me.

I’m kind of the guest in this podcast. Actually, it’s a conversation between my good friend and colleague, Jenny Carpenter, and we thought, you know what?

Let’s sit down, have a conversation. And she kind of interviews me, but we also just sorta have a conversation. It’s kinda like you sat next to us at Starbucks, and you happen to overhear what we are talking about. And our conversation is around, what did we learn in 2023?

What did we learn?

What are our takeaways?

What are our lessons?

What are our learnings?

And out of all of that, what are we taking with us into 2024? And just as importantly, what are we not?

What are we not taking with us into 2024? So it’s a great conversation. I think it’s one that you’ll find really valuable. I hope it’s one that serves as a catalyst for you to do some self reflection.

What did you learn in 2023? That’s so important because you did learn something. And what are you taking with you into 2024? How are those lessons serving you so that you can level up in this new year? And what did you go through that you don’t need to go through again and you can leave that in 2020.

Navigating Change: Julie Voris Reflects on 2023 Encounters and Insights

When the ball drops on December 31st, you can leave that stuff right there in 2023 and do not need to go into the new year with you.

It’s so beneficial to be thinking about it both ways. What did you learn?

What are you taking with you?

What are you leaving behind? So that’s our conversation today. Sit backs. Maybe grab a notebook. Take some notes.

If some thoughts really, really vibe with you, write some stuff down. It might help you in your own self assessment and your own reflection as well, and I hope you enjoy today’s podcast. Hey there.

So as we wrap up this year, I’m sitting here with my friend, Jenny, and we are talking about the topic that so many are talking about right now, and that’s what we are leaving behind in 2023. We’re all looking forward to 2024.

We’re all looking forward to this and this is kind of the vibe at the end of every year.

Like, what am I leaving behind? What did I wish I would have done? What did I learn from this year? What am I doing in the new year? And people start setting.

You might call them resolutions. Maybe they’re goals, maybe they’re intense, maybe you’re choosing a word for the year, whatever it might be.

And Jenny and I have been talking a lot about what we’re doing in 2024, where we’re going. So we thought, oh, this could be a conversation that other people might enjoy hearing. Right, Jenny?

Jenny [00:03:02]:
Absolutely. I think you’re so right, Julie. It’s like we put so much emphasis on what I wanna do next, what I want 2024 to be like, what I want this next year, these are my goals.

But if we don’t take the time to reflect on the year past and not just I mean, gratitude. I was so grateful for these things that happened, but more like, what did I learn so I make sure I don’t do it again?

Or, like, really, really, like, analyze it. And it’s like, okay. We’re both married to football coaches. And what do they do after the game? They go watch the same game.

Yes. They have a game to prepare for next, but they go watch the game they just played so they can critique and learn so they can better game plan for the next one. And I think that’s why this conversation is so important.

Julie [00:03:50]:
It reminds me a little bit of, you know, we’re in the health and wellness space why people always say you gotta take that before picture. And now granted that, you know, yes, there’s a before picture. There’s never really an after picture.

It really is a progress picture, but that before picture before maybe you’ve committed to a program or committed to a nutrition plan or whatever it might be, when you get into the program, when you get into the thick of the the journey, sometimes you forget where you started, and it’s that picture that reminds you of that.

And I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need someone to remind me, hey, remember that thing you did in January 12 months ago? And I’ve completely forgotten about it. You know, it’s like that business intensive we did with our mindset coach, Brad Bizjack was actually still this year.

Jenny [00:04:38]:
Yeah. It’s insane. Was it like I thought it was, like, 10 years ago?

Julie [00:04:40]:
Like, what in the what? Yeah. So I think if you don’t take it, yeah. It is very funny. I think to your point, if you don’t take a minute and go, oh, wait. Like, I did all of that.

It’s real easy, especially for type a people, especially for people who do have high goals, who have big dreams, who, you know, are really on a mission to create an extraordinary life, it’s really easy to kind of brush anything you’ve done under the rug because you’re so focused on the next thing.

And to get to that next thing, to your point, we gotta go, what did we do that worked? What did we do that did not?

Jenny [00:05:21]:
Right. Well okay. So let’s stick with that. Like, if you are just in your mind right now, pick three things. What were three things that You were like, yeah. Heck, yeah. This was great for 2023. What would you choose?

Allowing Time For Focused Work In Your Business Leads To Breakthroughs

Julie [00:05:39]:
Well, I would go back to that business intensive with Brad, and the reason why I would go back to that is not because you were there too, not because we had just incredible breakthroughs.

We did have breakthroughs because we took three days to really focus on the business and work on the business. But I think something like that is a really powerful testament to investing in yourself. Investing in your goals and dreams.

It’s kind of a major sign to the universe. Like, Okay. We want to manifest some really big stuff here.

And then tactically, it was an opportunity to bounce ideas off of and work with a mentor who Brad, in terms of his team, is a little further down the road than where I was, and that’s all you need is someone who’s just a little bit further down the road from where you are and have him help me understand what we needed to do for team JV, like, where we wanna go, where we what who we wanted to add, what we wanted to do, where we wanted to go.

Otherwise, it’s so easy for women, especially to just think they have to do it all on their own. And then you wonder why you’re plateaued or you’re stuck or whatever. So I would say that’s definitely one thing.

Jenny [00:06:53]:
For sure. And to piggyback on that a little bit, I think what was so special about that and a really great reminder to all of us is that sometimes in your life, even when things are like, it’s really hard to imagine like, okay.

I’m gonna block off three whole days, and this is all I’m gonna think about. So maybe we can all afford to do three whole days, but even just having those days where, like, just getting out of the house to go to a coffee shop, and I’m just focusing on this 1 project.

There’s that really if we can eliminate the noise sometimes, because, you know, we always have 8,000,000 things going on in the brain. If we can eliminate the noise and really give ourselves the gift of time, like, unpacking one thing before we move on to the next.

Like, that’s huge, and that’s when breakthroughs happen.

So it’s a really good reminder, and so maybe some we will take forward into 2024 is that I think especially for women, especially when we have a million things going on.

And sometimes we just need to take that moment and let our spider web brain think about one thing and unpack them one thing fully, but it’s always best or and it’s always best when you have someone helping you do that.

Julie [00:08:07]:
For sure. For sure because it’s an objective, it’s an objective, and it’s a helicopter point of view, someone who can see a little bit, definitely, they just have a higher viewpoint. They can see more of the bigger picture.

And to your point, it doesn’t have to be three days. It could be three hours. It could be 30 minutes. It could be just a dedicated set time period where you’re like, okay. Let me spend some time thinking about what my goals truly are and where I wanna go.

To your point, I think it’s really helpful when you do that with a mentor or someone who can ask you questions because what we have found is sometimes you just don’t know the questions that you need to ask yourself to get the answers. You just don’t know the questions yet.

So I would say just that idea of investing in yourself, investing in your business, and working with someone to help you do that, taking that intense time to do that I think that really set the tone for where we move forward because then, you know, we added to the team.

We put more strategies in place, and we were certainly open to new ways of approaching the business and setting different goals because we had done that.

Jenny [00:09:18]:
Yeah. No. That was really, really powerful, and like I said, it really set the tone. K. So that’s one. What’s something else that’s just, like, great? Like, super fun, great highlight? I mean, I have one that I think you should talk about.

Speaking Is At The Heart of What Julie Wants To Pursue in 2024

Julie [00:09:34]:
Oh, okay. We’ll get to that. I don’t know what that is. I will say okay this is another business one. Okay. I will say for the first time ever in my whole entire life, I invested in, pursuing speaking as another path, which is something I’ve always wanted to do, something that I’ve always said I wanted to do, but we can say a lot of things and not actually do a lot of things about it. And we’ve talked about this before.

You know, I’ve taught group exercise for so long. And since I am not teaching group exercise on the regular anymore, I have been chasing that feeling since I haven’t been doing that.

I just think that’s a really important piece of who I am, and I get that same feeling when I’m standing on a stage and I’m talking to people because the feeling that I’m looking for is the teaching, the mentoring, and the light bulb going on in someone else’s eyes. So maybe that’s through fitness.

Maybe that’s through speaking, whatever it might be. And I talked for I mean, I’ve been talking, I’ll say, just for a long time just for free. For free.

And this year was the 1st year I said, okay. I’m actually going to put some time and some money and some energy and some intent on building this path and seeing where this goes, not to the exclusion of other passions that I have, but just in addition to. So I’d say that’s one.

Jenny [00:11:07]:
Yeah. That’s a great one. There was something pretty special that happened with all five JV members. And we went to LA.

Julie [00:11:18]:
We went to LA.

Jenny [00:11:19]:
Do tell.

Julie [00:11:22]:
Here’s the thing you have to know. If you have older children and if you have little ones, I understand that you think right now they are never leaving your side. I understand that. We’ve all been there.

But any parents of older children will tell you that it goes so fast. And once they get to, really college, it’s more challenging to get everyone in the same room together at the same time.

And I would often say, well, sometimes I can get 2 of the 3, but I can’t get all three of the three. And it becomes even more rare when they have graduated from college.

They have jobs. They live in other cities, which all of my girls do now. So we made this LA trip, You know, this big special family trip. And our middle one lives in Los Angeles, so that’s part of the reason. Taylor Swift was in Los Angeles.

Jenny [00:12:21]:
Yes, she was.

Julie [00:12:22]:
Part of the reason. So we had this really awesome family. Disneyland, Taylor Swift, the five of us together, and it’s just rare. And, of course, it won’t happen again till January when we’re in Hong Kong.

And then after that, probably won’t happen for another 6 months because Jesse will still be in Hong Kong. So it becomes this, like, if we’re lucky, three times a year, but maybe two, you know, where all five of you are in the actual same room.

So moms of little ones just know it goes really fast.

And when you can get them in the same room, it would have been cool no matter what we were doing, but what we happened to do, that trip was also really cool.

Julie [00:13:06]:
So, well, to experience that was really cool.

Jenny [00:13:07]:
You guys were able to experience probably one of the most epic experiences in the world. And you got to experience it together. Like, you had a shared experience

Jenny [00:13:26]:
Millions of people Yes. Would give anything to like, for a taste of it. Right? So I’ll talk about Taylor Swift a little bit. Right?

And you saw her midway through the year. Right? Like, there’s even so much, but, like, talk about that experience. So and, like, maybe you’ll like, what did you learn from just being in that atmosphere around all the Swifties? Like, what is that like?

Sharing A Magical Family Experience in Los Angeles

Julie [00:13:58]:
Interesting that, you know, we’ve been original Taylor Swift fans. We are OG Taylor Swift fans. Such a fun little story. Way back in the day when Taylor was still wearing curly hair, sequined dresses, and cowboy boots, and was still opening acts for people.

It was not even her own act. Can you even imagine? Some of you weren’t even alive at that point. I know. But that is true.

So she wasn’t opening up for people. She made an appearance at a small little fair called the country jam or something like that.

Yes. Country Thunder in Wisconsin. And we were at the lake for the summer. She was there, and she was a draw for sure. But to be truthful, there are also, like, 2 or 3 other acts there that we were like, this will be a great day to go. Like, she was part of it. They were Swifties.

My girls are Swifties already, but she wasn’t, like, the only one that we were. I mean, nobody knew what she was going to become, of course.

You know? So we go. We put out our lawn chairs. We do the whole thing. We watch her, and my girls are like, well, mom, we have to meet her. Now, Jenny, when I tell you No small feat. Yeah. No small feat. I’m like, I’m sorry.

Julie [00:15:14]:
They’re like, mom, we have to meet her. Like, do your thing, mom, and see what you can make happen here. So I literally went on a quest to who do I need to talk to to get my children to meet you? How am I gonna do this?

How am I gonna do this? I don’t know who I met, who I found, whatever. But at some point, someone kind of came and found us and said, come on, and brought us back into the line where she was doing a meet and greet at the end of the night after she had already performed.

I think her meet and greet was for her fan club. I don’t really know. No one asked. We just got in line and, you know, whatever.

And I will say, strategically, I made sure we were at almost the end of the line. Why? Because what happens when you’re at the end of the line? You get more time. You talk longer. You get more time. So they did get to meet her.

I had a conversation with their dad. They had a Tiger Beat magazine, and showed her the magazine. They had this, you know, a long conversation with this young woman who is now, you know, a pivotal person for them, but that’s where it started for them, and they have followed her career.

Taylor Swift has been a fabric of our lives for so long

We’ve been to every concert. She’s just been a part of the fabric of their lives since then, and her lyrics and her songs have described their growing up experiences this whole time.

And so then for us to be able to do that together in August when we all love her music and we’ve all kind of grown up with her, was so rare and so cool. How many artists are there really where the whole family can go?

I think that in itself is very unique. And then the vibe of that, especially, I think, on the heels of, you know, a couple years of things being shut down and for her to to come back. To be in a stadium with 70,000 people where everyone is like, oh my God.

Your outfit is amazing. Oh, it looks so beautiful. Girl, I can’t mix it. What is it? And the whole vibe was that? That’s it’s it’s always hard to put it’s powerful, and it’s hard to put words to.

It’s hard, like, every time I think about the concert, the concert itself is amazing. But I really think about the vibe and how powerful it was when humans just actually came together and were nice to each other and were yeah. Funny concept and, like, we’re hype hype girls to each other.

You know, we’re just anything you wore that night was like everyone was like, yes. Yes, queen. That’s amazing. Trading the bracelets so people I mean, there was no barrier. Like, you just spoke to everyone. You talked to everyone.

[00:17:53]:
Didn’t matter what they looked like. If they were like you, not like you, like, none of that mattered. Everyone was just like, what are your bracelets? Where are you from? What do you do and then it became this part of the cultural conversation. Where were you? Where did you see?

Or what night were you? What secret songs did you get, you know, like, all of that. And so our other little fun fact is the era’s movie tour was filmed in LA the night we were there. So the surprise songs were our surprise songs. Like, we saw the drones. We saw the cameras on stage.

Like, we got to see all of that. And we’re like, Well, this is gonna be really cool when we see this at the movie theater, and sure enough, it really was cool.

Julie [00:18:41]:
Hey there. So since we’re talking about Taylor Swift and since I experienced Taylor Swift with my daughters, I thought it’d be cool to hear from one of them what they think the influence Taylor Swift has on society and on them since they’ve been OG Taylor Swift fans since the beginning. So here’s a message from my daughter, Jenna.

Jenna [00:19:07]:
If the Era’s Tour has taught me anything, it’s that people love a bandwagon. Right? Like, she’s selling out these stadiums, and half of those people probably don’t even like her. In fact, they were probably tweeting mean things about her in 2016 or making fun of other people for liking her in middle school.

And yet they are still paying 100s of dollars to go see her concert. Why? Because liking her is cool again. So what this has taught me is that I don’t actually need to make something that everybody likes. I just have to make something that enough people like so that it circles around to being cool again, and that is kinda beautiful.

Julie [00:19:46]:
Okay. That was definitely a rare cameo, wasn’t it? I mean, you actually got to hear from one of the Voris daughters. So I hope you enjoyed that. I hope you enjoyed Jenna’s takeaways and thoughts on Taylor Swift. Now let’s get back to the conversation.

Jenny [00:20:00]:
So those are some three great highlights and there’s more. There’s obviously so much more really good things that we could talk about and celebrate, but I’m just kinda curious.

What’s The Energy You Feel Towards 2023 and 2024?

Like, I know we feel so ready for 2024. Like, almost like you get to that point where you’re so ready to turn the page or to close the book. I’m done with this one, and you move on.

What is your if you just, like, look back as a whole in 2023, like, How does it make you feel? Like, what’s the energy? What is the energy you feel towards 2023 right now?

Julie [00:20:34]:
I would say challenging. 2023 was challenging. And so because it was, it became a I think it’s a year of growth. Now that’s not always the case with challenges. That’s a choice. I’m not saying that I didn’t resist those challenges. So I’m not saying I shouldn’t get it twisted there.

It wasn’t like I was happy about them, but I would say 2020 was challenging for me, personally and professionally. And it was also I think it has become a catalyst for growth, which, as we know, growth doesn’t happen without challenge.

So are there pieces of 2023 that I disliked? Yes. Are there pieces of 2023 that I’m very grateful for because of conversations that they created because of the growth that those situations create, yes. I am.

So you just gotta go through, I mean, you just gotta go through the stuff to get to the other side of it. I do. I am aware that not everyone is willing to do that.

And I and I just say that with love and with awareness. Like, not everyone is willing to lean into the challenge and grow through it, But I think that I am. Even when I resist it and sometimes I resist it for a long time, I think we all can spend a lot of energy trying to figure things out.

Sometimes, you know, when you’re going through something, you’re like, oh my God. Did I experience this in my childhood, you’re trying to pinpoint the exact reason.

Sometimes that’s worthwhile, but sometimes it’s also just a lot of energy that you could be putting towards your growth instead of just trying to pinpoint the exact reason.

So I feel like 2024 will be sort of, like, when the seeds start to bloom Right. Because there were a lot of, you know, s-h-i-t that got thrown on the seeds here.

Jenny [00:22:42]:
We call that fertilizer.

Julie [00:22:44]:
We call it fertilization. When you fertilize something, eventually, it’s gotta bloom. And I feel like if you keep doing the work, then I think 2024 is gonna be the year where I see more of those blooms.

But I would be lying if I said that it was an easy year.

“Like, let’s get in the driver’s seat of our life and really take charge of the momentum that we want for the rest of the year, I’m inviting you to join me and start on January 1st.” – Julie 

Experiencing Resistance Towards Personal Growth and What To Do About It

Jenny [00:24:35]:
And when you talk about personal growth, I mean, you talk about personal growth a ton. It’s because it’s so important. It touches if you wanna get better at anything in your life, it’s so it’s so important.

But the thing is too, like, people sometimes get into situations I feel like where something happens, and you’re like, I have to grow in this area. So then you go do the research.

And then other times, you don’t realize, like, your personal growth that I feel like you’re doing is preparing you for things that you have no idea that are coming.

But because you’ve done the work, you’re then able to, like, recognize, like, woah, and take a step back and and look at it differently.

And that’s where I think you, like I said, it’s not that you always wanted to accept. Right? Like, there was still resistance or it’s still you know, it doesn’t always feel great, but you had done the work to be able to sit back and be like, this is what I’m feeling.

How can I look at it from an objective angle, though, so that I can start to unpack it and move forward?

And I feel like too many people, if they’re not invested in personal growth or it’s just not a regular habit, for them, that’s when they get to challenges that happen, and they start to make excuses where they start to blame other people.

They become victims by it instead of taking that objective lens and going, okay.

1. How do we grow from this?
2. What lessons do we learn so that we can move path passes and do the work?

So, I mean, credit to yourself because you are the growth mindset habits queen. You know? That’s that, sometimes we can’t prepare for what’s to come or we think we know.

Preparation for unforeseen challenges and transition into the empty nest phase of life

Julie [00:26:19]:
That was empty nesting for me. Yeah. For sure. I was just gonna bring that up.

Yeah. You think you know? You don’t know. You don’t know. And, you know, what I loved that you said to me one time was that you aren’t at this phase of life yet, but you’re really kind of appreciating watching someone else go through it.

And I think that’s really key because, you know, my friend, Kristi and Drinka and I were talking about this the other day, that no one talks about this phase of life that much, this empty nest phase of life. Or if they do, they’re sad or it’s just like it’s a weird vibe. No one really talks about it.

No one really asks about how the mom’s doing. People always ask how their kids are doing. They don’t ask how the mom’s doing, and we don’t really talk about the mental transition that has to happen during this really official empty nest phase.

So in 2019, we took Jesse to college, and she’s the youngest. And I thought at that time, Jenny, that that was an empty nesting. Now It was a little bit of a weird situation because then we all know what happened in March of 2020.

So then I had people come home and, you know, back and live with us. But from August of 2019 to February of 2020, you know, I thought I was an empty nester.

Yeah. Little did we know. Capital One did this whole, you know, video segment on what it’s like with empty nesting, and aren’t you and I’m like, I am empty nesting. No. I was not. What I was preparing for was sure – empty nesting. You know, that we were not empty nesting.

If you have children in college, you’re not empty nesting. Please stop saying they are.

Julie [00:28:04]:
It’s like preparation for it. But here’s the thing. It’s a pain, but it’s not empty nesting because when they’re in college, they’re still womewhat reliant on you. They’re probably on your insurance.

They’re probably on your cell phone plan. They’re probably coming home for

Jenny [00:28:27]:
They’re still bringing you dirty laundry. Yes.

Julie [00:28:29]:
They’re still bringing you laundry. They’re still like, all of that is still happening, and that’s a very different phase than we have jobs and money and we are making decisions now that no longer involve you. That’s a whole different phase.

Empty Nester: “So that was a big challenge for me mentally. It took up a lot of mental space. It still takes up a lot of mental space. And I would love to just have that piece of conversation out into the zeitgeist more because I just don’t think we talk about it enough for women.”
– Julie

We don’t talk, we don’t acknowledge it. We don’t talk about it. We think we’re empty nesting when they’re in college. That’s incorrect.

And I will also say this. Everyone will transition differently. Some people for some people, they you know, my oldest one, Jenna, has a friend whose parents are like, why are you coming home again?

I mean, they love empty nesting. They’re very excited about it. I, on the other hand, am like, please come home. And when are you coming home, and how long are you saying, and what do you know?

And everything just gets dropped and revolves around that. So I think everyone transitions differently through it. I’m really grateful that I have three daughters I really like.

I really like hanging out with them. That is helpful. It’s like you love your children, of course. I really like my daughters. They’re, like, the coolest humans that I know.

They’re literally three of the smartest, coolest human beings that I know on the planet, so I really like hanging out with them.

Sometimes they call me out and challenge me on stuff that I wish they would maybe remember that I am their mom. They calm down.

So I think that’s also been part of the challenge in the transition in that just not having them around as much. And I just really like them.

So any human that you really like, that you don’t get to spend as much time with as you wish you could, you miss them, and you want more of that. And I’m really grateful that that’s also my children.

Jenny [00:30:39]:
Well, It probably is also helpful that at least when this transition happened for you, you were living in a place that you enjoy.

Julie [00:30:50]:
This is so true. I can’t, I cannot even think about it if I wasn’t.

Jenny [00:30:56]:
I was thinking about that. I’m like, okay. So, yes, you’ve lived in Florida for a year and a half, but this is your first time you’ve done a calendar year in Florida. You’ve done all the seasons. 

You know, having yourself, myself moving for jobs, husband’s jobs, multiple times. Like, you I remember saying, like, a place you don’t have a rhythm until you’ve lived somewhere for the entire season. Like, all the entire year. And so you kind of know how to navigate that.

So, yeah, it’s been a year.How does that feel? It’s been more than a year, but you’ve done the calendar year. Like, unpack that a little bit for me.

The Importance Of Environment and on Mental and Energy Health

Julie [00:31:36]:
It’s funny because Florida now. I know. When we moved here or when I looked at the house in October 2021, we had a really awesome young family right next door to us. And when we looked at the house, my realtor and I were here.

They were outside putting up some of their Halloween Decor, which in Florida is a whole another podcast conversation. Okay?

And so they’re outside putting up their halloween decor. And the wife, the mom was out there, and she was pregnant at the time. And they had three little ones, which I loved because I wanted to live in a neighborhood that had Lots of diversity in terms of age.

I wanted little kids. I don’t wanna live where there aren’t any children. They had three little ones. She was pregnant at the time. So then we moved in March 2022, and she had the baby in May of 2022.

So this past May, May 2023, they had a big blow up in their backyard, and there was, like, all kinds of stuff. And I said to my husband, oh, I think they’re having a party for the youngest one. I bet it’s a birthday party, but they’re a year old.

And he’s like, no. Absolutely not. And I said, yeah. I do think that that’s about the right time. And he goes, there’s no way that that baby is a year old.

And as we investigated, I was right as I am often. Of course. I am. Of course, I am. And he said that was the fastest year ever that he’s experienced. And I thought, isn’t that interesting?

Because after having for him been on this rhythm of football seasons for his entire life his entire life. Interesting that this year where he was not, you know, was the fastest year…

…and we’re both like, this is the best decision we’ve ever made, for so many reasons, mental health wise, physical health wise. It’s just the best decision that we’ve ever made being here.

I always say, well, I wish we could have done it sooner, but we couldn’t have, and that’s fine. Right. That’s the timeline that it was supposed to happen on.

But to your point, transitioning into a big next chapter of your life, which is what parenting grown up children is… Thank goodness. I’m here and I can go to the magic kingdom anytime I want.

And I can be around little children anytime that I want, but I can also steep myself in the magic anytime I want. And quite frankly, that is a huge help.

It just is a huge help.

Jenny [00:34:08]:
Well, it’s just a reminder that your environment matters. Oh, so much. So much to do with your, like you said, physical health, mental health, energy health. And all of it.

Julie [00:34:20]:
Just the fact that we wake up and I could see the sunrise every morning and that most days I see the sun. Is a game changer for those of us that grew up in the Midwest and spent so much time in the Midwest.

It’s a game changer because it’s just gray and that affects everything. So, you know, I think that to your point that environment, you know, and it’s not like, okay, everyone listening to this, you need to pick up and move, but get cognizant of your environment and what you can do in your own environment right now that can help especially when you’re going through challenging times because if you don’t, the challenge gets amplified. It feels doubly heavy.

It feels doubly hard when you’re in an environment that you’re not that you don’t like and you’re not doing anything about it when you’re around toxic people, when you’re around negativity, when it’s just all the challenges feel doubly hard.

Jenny [00:35:16]:
Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree with that. It’s so important, and it’s like, you know, we always laugh like that when you’ve cleaned well… so I’m obviously in a different stage of life. Lots of children, lots of activities. So my house does not look or sound like a resort like yours does.

But it’s funny, like, when that 1 room gets, like, perfect and we moved this year too, so it’s, like, perfectly set up, and it’s clean and everything. So, like, guess where everyone wants to hang out?

Julie [00:35:45]:
Uh-huh. In that room.

Jenny [00:35:47]:
Not the not the cluttered one because the energy is different. It’s just different. So, yeah, be Uh-huh. Being mindful of you know, even if you’re working, your desk space are, like, just what is the energy you wanna create?

A lot of the time, it starts with the atmosphere in which you’re sitting and doing the thing. 

Julie [00:36:07]:
And I will tell you that if you are an empty nester And you’ve got rooms that were your children’s, the and they’re not there anymore. I open up my whole house like everybody’s here. There’s no doors that are closed unless I think Sawyer might be getting into something. Socks. There’s no doors that are closed. All the rooms get cleaned every week just like someone’s living here.

Creating an atmosphere for positive energy flow and mental health

I’ve got candles burning in all the rooms right now. There are speakers in all the rooms. And when I play music in the house, all the rooms have music in the house, and there’s no room because I don’t know if it was but when I was growing up, you know, my mom would just close the door or, you know, whatever.

It’s like, well, we just don’t use that room. And I’m like, that’s that weird energy. That’s just weird energy. And this is a house that I want to feel like a home when our girls come home and that doesn’t happen, if the doors are all closed up, the energy’s not flowing.

So I’m really cognizant too of I want energy flowing through the entire house all the I did that in Indiana as well.

Also, because I was so gray. I was so sad because it was so gray, and I’m like, pump up the music. Turn up the candles. Do all the things just to get some energy flowing, but I think that’s hugely important.

And if you are going through a challenging time, double down on that.

If you are doing reflection and assessment, get in a space that makes you happy and feel good so that you can do that with a better, clearer mind. Like, that environment, I just think helps you navigate all your stuff. – Julie

Jenny [00:37:44]:
What you said too about the environment and getting spaces, sometimes it’s getting in conversations like you mentioned earlier.

Getting conversations, getting in rooms with people that are going through the same thing or maybe a little farther down the line or or or are at least committed to figuring out what’s next.

Or how to do better, you know, and just being really cognizant about the type of rooms that you’re in and what you’re what you’re putting in your head, whether that’s music, personal development, or conversations.

So speaking of conversations speaking of conversations, like, I mean, you’re in incredible spaces all the time on purpose with lots of women. Especially women.

Creating A Space For Women To Collaborate and Create Meaningful Connections

Jenny
And what are like, if you look back on the year, like, are there any that really just stick out to you or moments or conversations that you have had with other leaders, whether it’s in your industry or not, that, that really impacted you or, like, any moments that you had while when you’re you know, whether it’s through collaborations or just conversations. And sometimes and maybe that’s a, oh, I did not like that feeling. I’m not gonna do that.

Julie [00:39:00]:
I don’t know that yeah. Don’t we have plenty of those? I don’t know that there are specific, like, word for word conversations that I can remember, but I do know that getting in conversation with, like, you and the rest of team JV.

Like, when we get in a space and we have conversation, there is well, there’s push back to me, which is good, which is good.

There’s pushback and challenge to me, which is really good because it requires a different level, a different way of thinking, which I appreciate.

There’s a there’s a trust and a connection there that we all wanna do something meaningful in the world, I think that’s really important that we don’t I mean, yes, we went to dinner, you know, when everyone was here, and, yes, we went to Disney and watched the fireworks, of course, because you come to my house I mean, of course, we’re going to Disney. Duh.

Jenny [00:40:04]:
It’s a must.

Julie [00:40:05]:
Right. But the conversations are not gossipy or negative or and and there isn’t a lot of room or allowance, I should say, for excuses. There is space for that to be let out because sometimes you would say, why aren’t we doing this or why can’t we do this why are we not doing this?

And I’d be like, blah blah blah blah. And it’s not like everyone would shut me down. So they’d be like, oh, okay. We hear you, except, we don’t think that’s valid anymore. You know?

So I think that it’s really important to have these sort of circles of trust in your life where you have this connection that you’re all you all wanna do something meaningful in life, and there’s a trust that we have each other’s backs and that we want the best for each other.

Those are the kinds of conversations that I think I’ve been getting more intentional about.

And having more collaborative conversations with those, getting back getting connected back with, business colleagues I hadn’t worked with for a while, connecting with them, connecting with other other business colleagues that I do talk to on a regular basis, but maybe they are in different masterminds or different opportunities than I am, and they kinda bring that back to our conversation, and it’s very inspiring.

So constantly be seeking that out because, you know, I remember when Brendon Burchard said, I don’t I can’t remember if it was a podcast or a training or something like that.

You know, he said, it’s 2023. You don’t get to say that you don’t know anybody anymore. Sorry. Not with the internet tools, the social media tools that we have at our fingertips, you don’t get to say, well, I just don’t know anybody anymore. No. Sorry.

You don’t get to say that. That’s now taken off the table, and you gotta figure it out. And so I think a lot of women will get stuck with, why don’t you still have anyone that has big goals and big dreams in my life?

Well, honey, you take yourself to Instagram or Facebook, and start putting it out there into the universe what you want and find those people. Because there are 8,000,000,000 people on the planet and about 7,000,000,000 of them are on social media.

Seek Out The People and Communities That Challenge and Celebrate You

Julie
And you can find them, but you do have to be open to seeking them out. And you have to be open to the fact that they’re not always going to agree with you or think you’re awesome or just say yes or whatever, that’s all part of the package.

Jenny [00:42:31]:
Yeah. Everything Is figureoutable, but you have to take it like… you have to take the 1st step to figure it out. And a lot of times, that’s making sure you’re finding those people.

So, okay, let’s talk about what you wanna leave behind in 2023? What are experiences or just, like, lessons learned or energy that you’re like, we’re done now. Thank you very much.

Julie [00:42:59]:
You can Yeah. That’s a yeah. I’m glad you said that word energy because I do feel like, I mean, I wrestled hard with the empty nester transition, and I’m still wrestling with that.

But what I’m leaving behind, which is a work in progress, is negative negativity associated with it and instead arming myself with tools to just be a better parent in this next chapter. – Julie

You know, it’s really easy to get sucked into the nostalgia and wish that I wish they were young again. I hope they are okay. That’s not happening. So we either stay there and you miss out on this next great season because I really enjoy my children.

I really enjoy my children, period. And I really enjoy my children as grown ups too because, again, they’re just really smart and cool. And it is a different parenting vibe. It’s just different. You know? They don’t need to do what you say anymore. And

Jenny [00:44:18]:
And you cannot ground them.

Julie [00:44:19]:
And you cannot ground them, and they can do whatever they want. And they don’t need your approval anymore. So it’s… I’m really trying to leave behind the negativity associated with that and nostalgia in a bad way, not nostalgia in a good way.

You know? But nostalgia in a bad way where you just wish everything would go back, go back, go back.

Like, that’s not ever gonna happen. And I’m really working on opening myself up to this new next chapter and the cool stuff that we’re gonna get to experience together as they get older, as we get older, as I don’t have to be as responsible for them.

You know? And that’s also kinda cool too. You know? Like, oh, we’re gonna travel together, but I don’t have to pay for all the things anymore.

Like, wait. I don’t I don’t I’m not really sure how to I don’t really know how to handle this. But on the other side of that, that also means I don’t get to say x, y, z, or I don’t get you know what I mean?

Building Healthy Relationships with your kids: “So it’s like learning that give and take and rigid learning to really appreciate the time you have together and to let go of my own baggage to make sure that the welcome match just always rolls out for them in a way that makes them want to be around me.” – Julie

I want them to as much as I like them, I would like them to like me too. So there’s work that has to be done in that. So I’m really working to leave behind the kind of the angstiest that I had that I’ve had, you know, I would say probably oh, over and over. I mean, probably six or seven months of this year have been hard. 

And, like, angsty and emotional and, and and, like, and all this is going on in my head while none of it’s just going on in my husband’s head. So women just need to be aware of that so that your transition into this is a whole different conversation.

And if you have a spouse, just working to leave behind negative vibes, negative energy associated with it, and opening myself up to this new next chapter in a really cool, open way. That’s fun. That’s a big one for me.

Jenny [00:46:46]:
That is a big one. What about your business?

Julie [00:46:50]:
Well, freeing up some of my angstiness, some of my some of the energy that I have been in my brain space over this, I think, will also really help my business because, you know, when you’re in I think this is true of any parenting.

Like, when your parenting feels off, if you’re a parent or or in your relationships really, I think any relationship.

If I’m going through a parenting transition or if I was going through a marriage transition or anything like that, just sort of if something was off in my important relationships, it’s natural that that then transfers kind of over to my business, and it just gives you less brain space to think about where you wanna go and what you wanna do.

And I feel like some of the the letting go happening in my personal life also translates to my business and just sort of letting go of could be people, could be relationships, could be expectations, could be old systems that don’t work, could be old processes that don’t work, could be old ways of doing things.

You know, I have been building my business since June 2008. So, you know, you get into a rut of sort of doing some of the same things the same way all the time, and this is 2023 too. As I said before, things are very different now.

And really being open to, well, what’s working now and who do I wanna help now, because the woman that I’d like to help now is probably different from the woman I wanted to help in 2008, and that’s okay.

I’m still chasing that feeling of being on a stage and watching the light bulb come on in someone’s eyes, I am chasing that hard. So I don’t know how and what that looks, but that’s something that I want more of. I want more of that feeling in 2024.

Jenny [00:48:52]:
Yeah. And what you mentioned about leaving behind with the, like, feelings around empty nesting and the leaving behind the negativity… the negative feelings associated with that or the negative feelings associated with the, I miss how it was, I think that absolutely translates into your business. Not just the parenting vibe, but that same thing. There’s been a lot of change in your business.

Expectation for 2024 to be a year of progress and offering tools and support for personal growth and ambition

Jenny
Over the last few years and and some that are in your own control, some that are not. But it’s that I see that same thing, like letting go of any negative thoughts about why this does not feel the same as it once did.

And instead, moving forward from that. And now, oh, I wish it was this. How do I recreate that? You well, you’re not gonna recreate that. You’re gonna recreate something new. Something different. But I feel like that reflection works both personally.

And it is a huge lesson for all of us. It’s not that you can’t look back ever, Right. And parenting or on your business or, if you’re an athlete, you know, wish like, missing what once was.

Like, you can look back, but it’s like, okay. So then what can I bring into now and learn and grow from there and not looking back and allowing it to negatively impact your present. Does that make sense?

Julie [00:50:19]:
That’s the key to not be boohoo about it. Because I think if you deconstruct what you’re looking back on. Let’s say you’re looking back at a period of time with your children, and you’re wishing that that was that.

Okay. If I deconstruct what it was that I’m looking back on, it’s generally not, in my case, the specific event or what we were doing. But what I’m looking for is the vibe and the connection that was happening in that moment.

That’s what you’re looking for. K. That’s no different than when I was teaching group exercise. Looking back on that, what am I looking for now? The vibe and the feeling that I had in that moment.

So if you can deconstruct it down to what was the vibe and the feeling in that moment. That’s what I’m missing. Well, guess what? You can figure out how to do that now.

We had that vibe and that feeling in August in LA, no different than we would have had it when they were all under 1 roof living at home because we’re not looking for you’re not gonna recreate to your point that exact situation.

I think that requires us to really dig into what it is that you’re missing.

What is it that you’re angsty about?

What is it that you’re nostalgic for?
And usually, it’s a vibe and a feeling and a connection.

Okay. So how can we create that vibe and that feeling, that connection now? Maybe it looks different. I’m just gonna tell you something. I’m not going back to teaching Insanity ever again. Okay? That’s happening. Ever again.

No power jumps in this house ever again. Okay. But I am chasing that feeling. How can I get it a different way? How can I get the feeling that I had when my daughters lived at home now?

And maybe it’s not as often, but you know what? Sometimes when things happen all the time or sometimes when you’re in the thick of parenting, those special moments don’t happen that often either because you’re in the thick of parenting.

You just are. You just appreciate when they come around, sometimes when they don’t come around quite as often, and you get a little more intentional about creating them. So how can I create?

Which means I have to work on myself to let go of stuff so that when I am with them, I’m not bringing all that baggage along, that angsty feeling, into this moment so that we can create the energy, the vibe, and the connection that I want.

So it always comes back to personal growth. It always goes back to personal growth.

Jenny [00:53:06]:
Really does. But I love how you illustrated that it’s not necessarily the thing. It’s the feeling. And I personally experienced that.

Well, it’s been five years ago now. I was coaching high school baseball, and the softball job came open, and I really, really struggled with deciding whether or not I wanted to coach softball instead of baseball.

And I kept something that came up for me was my dad loved baseball, and I had a lot and my I have a lot of memories growing up love my my dad you know, like, my dad coaching my brother’s teams, and I was the back girl for one of the teams and just like so, like, I almost put it on a pedestal to where, like, my dad would be so proud of me because I’m coaching baseball, and I’m a girl coaching baseball. But then as and there’s way more to this, but as I was, you know, unpacking it, like, is it actually baseball? No.

It was the fact that we were involved with my dad doing it. Yes. So it didn’t matter. And I was like, so it doesn’t matter if it’s baseball. I’m gonna coach a sport, and I’m gonna bring my kids with me.

They’re gonna learn. They’re gonna see. They’re gonna be a part of that as well too. So it wasn’t baseball. It was recreating that feeling and creating that legacy of a of that he created for us of .

The joy of being around the game, a game. You know? And getting to be involved and being part of that.

And that I’m when I had that epiphany, It was one of the big decisions you know, snowballs that eventually led me to choosing to go run my own program and coach softball. But that’s exactly what it was. It wasn’t the thing.

It was understanding the feeling that was really at that deeper level. And when you’re talking about being present with your kids too, no nobody likes being at the family event where the mom or the grandma, all they’re doing is harping on what that kid’s not gonna be at the next time or, oh, you’re missing out on this or you’re missing out instead of just, like, enjoying the moment.

Julie [00:55:15]:
Yep. Yep, you could have just said no one likes being at that family event, period. Period. Or no one likes being at that family event where the mom and the grandma’s nagging someone.

Like, you know, that I have that in my memories of my own mother, and I’m like, don’t be that. So use those experiences in your life too that teach you what you don’t want to be and take that, you know, going forward.

But I think that idea of really getting at the heart of what it is you’re looking for, humans get attached to, you know, events or places or whatever. And sometimes it doesn’t have to. It’s not the place. Sometimes it is, you know but often it’s just the you know, I think about

Jenny [00:56:07]:
If it’s Disney, it is.

Julie [00:56:08]:
I mean, it’s Disney, but here’s it’s interesting because I was saying this to someone the other day. I feel like, you know, when we would come here when they were young.

So you grow up with three girls under one roof and a dad who’s a football coach, so he’s gone all the time. So it’s mom and three girls. So we were a hack, but three girls were there. There’s a lot of hormones, a lot of drama, a lot of Mhmm. Things are going on.

And, you know, a lot of fights, a lot of whatevers, happening. But when we would come down here a lot of that would go away. So sometimes places do have special connections because when you remove your fit what we were talking about before.

When you take your family out of that environment, put them in a new environment alot of those silly fights that they were having at home just because they were right on top of each other or whatever, they kinda went away.

And here, it was, well, who’s gonna ride Space Mountain with me? Because mom’s not.

So who’s going and, you know, what’s this and these connective that now they could make when they were here, so environment can matter.

But then that also ties into why this is so special for me, for my husband and I, because we do have a lot of those memories here.

But that helps us stay connected to that vibe, to that feeling. That energy. Without the girls having to be five years old again. Right. You know? We can come over and then we can go to the Magic Kingdom and enjoy it.

We can watch the parents and when we’re someplace where lots of children are crying, we could leave.

We could leave. But I really think that that deconstruction of what was it in 2023 or whenever where you felt kind of lit up and loving life. What were you doing? And if you can’t do that exact thing again, keep digging, keep digging, keep digging, keep peeling back, peeling back, peeling back.

What was the heart of that thing that then you could do more of? Because really isn’t that the heart of life? Like, figure out what brings you joy and I think makes a difference in the world. And then do more of that and do less of the stuff that doesn’t. 

Learning experiences from 2023 and plans for personal and business growth in 2024

Jenny [00:58:28]:
Absolutely. Anything else? And, what else do we wanna talk about for 2023? 1st, I’m gonna say it.

Girl, we’re gonna slow clap for you, crushing your business this year and reaching a level that you and only one other person have ever done, that you and your business continue to make history because you care so passionately about its mission.

And so I just wanna say congratulations on that. That is big for 2023. Yes. Were there hard things with it? Were there struggles and challenges that we learned and grew through along the way? Absolutely. And you still get to the end of the year and get to celebrate with your team.

Some pretty big accomplishments. And so I’m just saying con I’m celebrating that for you.

Julie [00:59:19]:
Thank you. Thank you. Yes. You know, type As, we have a hard time celebrating anything. So, yeah. That it is a big deal. It really is because, well, I think what we get to do in my business, our business that we’re in, this amazing online health and wellness space, I think what we get to do is change lives.

I think what this business does at the heart of it is helps you become the best version of you you can be.

I’ve always thought that because you can’t grow a business unless you grow yourself. So I have big goals for my business, but really more importantly, I have big goals for my life.

And my business becomes a catalyst for that. And what I love about this business so much is the very pieces of it, if you lean into them, almost force you to become a better version of yourself.

Now you can resist them. You can fight back sometimes. You can maybe lean out a little bit more than you wish you would have.

But at its core, this business, the fitness, the nutrition, the personal growth, the community, the income opportunity, these pieces when they come together, they really help you become the best version of yourself.

I am so convicted in that. I believe that to my absolute bone, I wouldn’t be here this many years later. I love that because it does help you create an amazing life. And that is really the goal of all of this.

Jenny [01:00:56]:
That is the goal. How are we making an amazing life in 2024? As we wrap up this conversation, like so we know what we’re not bringing with us. K? Right. So what are you? What is the energy you’re choosing to bring into 2024?

Julie [01:01:14]:
The first word that comes to mind is proactive.

I wanna make sure that I stay. I don’t know if it’s possible to stay ahead. But the more personal growth I do, the more mindset work I do, the more therapy I do, the more aware I am of where those triggers are and some of that baggage.

I wanna stay ahead of that. Because I grew up watching… I don’t really know that much about my grandma and those of my I mean, either one of them just because my parents had me when they were so much older, so my grandmothers were all already old when I came along, so I don’t really know about their own personal baggage, but I know very well my mother’s personal baggage and, certainly my sisters. And they are epitomes of not being proactive.

So I have had, if you will, I’ve had a masterclass in what it looks like to not do that. And as the more work that I do on me, the more I see I can get ahead of this.

I can actually break some of those generational barriers. I can actually break some of those chains. – Julie

It’s not easy, but I think I can do that. And I think it’s kinda cool because I actually have conversations with my daughters about that. Now I don’t know about you, but my mom and I never talked about anything like this. Like, no.

No deep conversations about mental health ever happened

Jenny [01:02:53]:
Now, My mom’s a little closer in age to me than you were. Yeah.

Julie [01:02:57]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my mom’s 96. So, like, she’s the yeah. So it’s a whole different whole different ballgame with her. But I think proactive is such a cool word in terms of just how can I get ahead?

How can I sort of start to get better at anticipating or I don’t know if anticipating is the right word because sometimes I think that leads to worry? But just being proactive like, okay. I’m doing this.

How can I really make sure that I am at my best self?

How can I make sure my head space is in the best place?

How can I make sure that I am open, I’m loving, I’m receiving, I’m growing, I’m evolving, and just In the best version of me that I can for this event?

Now I’m going to this event. Oh, I know that this might happen and this might happen. Okay. How can I kinda get ahead of that?

Okay. Now I’m going to this event, and I’m gonna be speaking. And I know that I might have some living beliefs that maybe come up. Okay.

What work can I be doing to kinda get ahead of that?

That’s one that comes to mind. So that. And then number two, that you and I have talked about a lot. I feel like I’ve spent the last few years really filling up with, I don’t gosh.

Coaching and masterminds and just all the things, you know, like speaking coaches, which I’m still continuing with, but mastermind, two years of masterminds and a mindset coach and just all the things.

And you know that feeling sometimes when, maybe you eat just a little too much and you lay like, oh, I’m just a little bit too full. And that’s kinda what my brain feels like.

Like, it feels like it’s just my brain feels really, really full. And 2024 is sort of the year where, again, I want some of these seeds to start to blossom.

I want some of the work that we’ve been doing and the stuff that we’ve taken in to actually start to come to fruition. And that means me not having shiny object syndrome and just calming down a little bit.

And, you know, Brendon Burchard says invest more, buy less, invest more. So really digging into what we’ve already got going to already invested in, some of the knowledge that’s already in my head and getting just gritty with that. You know? I’m starting the year by doing a 3-month fitness program. Not a 3-week.

[01:05:42]:
No, I’m not bouncing around. I’m not just kinda seeing what I feel like doing that day. No. I’m doing a 3-month fitness program, period. And that consistency leads to results.

So I wanna kind of put that into the other pieces of my life as well. Like, just really digging in, settling in, getting grounded, staying proactive, and, maybe traveling a little lighter, letting go of some of that baggage.

Jenny [01:06:10]:
You’re ready to bloom. Right? Yeah. You’re ready to see some blooms. Yeah.

Julie [01:06:14]:
Yeah. It’s time, I think. Well, I think we could agree. I think that we have invested a lot in the past few years.

Yeah. Well, it’s time to maybe let that settle for a little bit and stop pouring more stuff on. More is not the answer.

Jenny [01:06:33]:
Correct.

Julie [01:06:36]:
Smarter and more intention, more focused is the answer.

Jenny [01:06:42]:
Well, I’m excited for the ride ahead. 2024 is gonna be pretty special.

Julie [01:06:47]:
I love an even numbered year. Don’t you? I do. I mean, not except for 2020. We did not like that. No.

Jenny [01:06:53]:
No. Hard no. I could get behind that Even number years.

Julie [01:06:58]:
Let’s do it. I mean, we’re gonna kick off the year by going to Hong Kong. I mean, something I’ve never done. Absolutely not on my list. Lots of places in the world I’d like to visit. Hong Kong was not on the list, so we’re gonna start 2024 by doing something really cool and unusual, and then we’re just gonna continue it. We’ll do some growth day events, just some speaking stuff.

We’re gonna go back to San Antonio. We’re gonna think there’s some really good stuff coming. And I think there are some cool humans in the world that don’t even know that they need what we have.

And if we continue to vibrate at the frequency that we wanna vibrate out, we’re gonna find those people, and they’re gonna come in and be in our ecosystem too.

So I think that there’s people in the world that we haven’t even met yet that are gonna come in and be really cool in our lives in 2024

Jenny [01:07:57]:
I’m here for that.

Julie [01:07:58]:
Me too. Me too. Let’s do this. Slay. As Jenna says, slay.

Jenny [01:08:04]:
Slay, girl. Slay.

Julie [01:08:07]:
Well, this has been really good. Thanks for coming on, Jenny.

Jenny [01:08:10]:
I appreciate it. Thanks for having me.