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Hey, friend. Welcome back to the Crank It podcast, and this is the 2nd in a series of 3. Now listen, if you have not listened to the first one yet, don’t even worry. You can go back and listen to that later.
If you’re just stumbling onto this one, because of the idea of what well-being really means, if that really appeals to you, and you’ve kind of stumbled upon this podcast, cool, cool, cool. Welcome.
Emotional Balance in Life’s Transitions: Well-Being Strategies for Women
Come on in, grab a seat. And then I highly encourage you to go back and listen to the episode we did just previous to this because this, again, it’s the second in a series of 3, these key pillars of a life on purpose with purpose.
And I’m coming at them from the lens of a midlife or of someone who’s in the empty nesting season. However, please don’t let that deter you from listening to these episodes because these key pillars are key throughout our entire lives.
And if you are a female listening to this, they can really be put by the wayside as we get submerged in the busyness of life. So today we tackle this idea of wellness and well-being and what it really means and more importantly, how it looks, how it manifests in our life.
The Significance of Aligning Daily Habits With Our Desire To Feel Calm, Confident and Balanced
This idea of these 3 keys being so important in any transition. We are talking a little bit more about midlife, but I want you to really take in all this information in terms of transitions in life, in terms of shifts in life, and changes in life, in seasons of life that you may be navigating just hard stuff.
And as you’re navigating that, as you’re navigating those shifts, those changes, those challenges, these three keys will help keep you anchored and navigating through, will help get you to the other side.
Today, we are focusing on this idea of well-being, and that might seem pretty standard, especially coming from someone who makes a living in the health and wellness space that, of course, we’re gonna talk about well-being and, of course, I’m gonna tell you to, you know, work out and move your body and eat the things and blah blah blah.
There’s a lot more to the idea of well-being than nutrition and exercise.
But there’s a lot more to it than that. There’s a lot more layers to well-being, and so we’re gonna talk about all of that today. And my hope is that you continue to combine these three pieces, these three keys into this navigation system for any transition, any challenge, any hard season of life because I really think that they will all put together, they will all help you.
And when I think about past hard seasons of life, when I dissect them, these three pieces, even though I didn’t have the verbiage for it at the time and I wasn’t articulating it at the time, these three pieces are what got me through.
It’s nice to have the language around it now and to be able to share that with you so that you can take these pieces and help them help you navigate whatever challenge or season of life that you might be in.
So today, Jenny, we are focusing on well-being or wellness. You excited about this?
Jenny [00:03:56]:
I’m truly excited about this topic because, you know, even just saying it, everyone it’s kinda like when we say, well, name a dog, and everyone instantly has, like, a thought of something.
When you talk about wellness, everyone has a thought.
They know what that means personally to them, whether good or bad. They instantly see whatever is being blasted in their face over social media and in the media, or a lot of times it’s limiting beliefs or generational baggage around, which means…
And what you and I both know is that well-being is very multifaceted. And we also know that there are really certain pieces that without them, the rest of the stuff that doesn’t don’t really matter so much.
It doesn’t have as big of an impact unless we’re focusing on things. So let’s kinda dive into that. I guess, Julie, you always just naturally… some people think, oh, it’s so lucky for her. She naturally loves to take care of herself.
But do you remember a time in your life where, like, taking care of your well-being, and and we’re gonna define that here too, taking care of your well-being just became more of a priority in your life. And do you remember when that was and, like, why it made that shift?
Julie [00:05:22]:
Well, I will say, certainly, I did not grow up in a house where those words were used. Certainly, we didn’t talk about working out. We didn’t talk about well-being.
We didn’t talk about self care. We didn’t talk about wellness. None of that was anything.
I think I did to a degree when I think about it now, I think I did maybe see it modeled in my dad to a degree, you know, just movement, curiosity, passion, you know, just kind of doing things that brought him joy, personal development before it was really called personal development, friends, hanging out with friends, like, all these different pieces kind of a well-being. I think I saw it modeled even though that would never have been articulated or verbalized.
I was always the kid who couldn’t sit still. I’m very much a movement kind of person. And I will say this, when my husband and I got married… you know, of course, when you’re just married, it’s just 2 of you.
You got whatever time you can do it or you can go out for a marathon long run if you want to, whatever, it’s just 2 of you.
But then when we had children, I will say that it became quite apparent that if anyone was going to get a workout in, it was gonna be me. It was just gonna be me.
And that is gonna have to be what happens if I’m going to actually be able to function in a way that is best for the entire family. I don’t even remember having a conversation around it.
I don’t remember. It wasn’t like I was teaching group fitness at the time. I had no aspirations. I didn’t… it was just I needed to move my body so that I could feel better. And, I mean, we had gotten married fairly young, had kids fairly young, and, certainly, this was before social media or influencers or anything that was talking about any of this.
But it just became really clear in our house that if there was only time for one workout, it was going to be me. And I do remember that because I’m a morning person naturally, I’ve always been someone who said, I am willing to get up early, earlier than anyone else and do a workout so that I can feel better.
I don’t care about that. That doesn’t bother me in the least. I will do it, but I’m gonna have to move my body today. Now what I didn’t really know were the other components of wellness really that I think are so vital. I certainly grew up watching.
I grew up watching and then integrating into my own self disordered eating 100%.
So I don’t really talk a lot about nutrition because it can be triggering for me, and I don’t wanna contribute to someone else’s triggers and their conversations that are having, you know, in their head.
I saw disordered eating. I then participated in that, you know, as I got into fitness, but also before that, just before that, and there was just very little education about it.
Certainly I have had weird relationships with a number on a scale and all of that. So I don’t think any female in America I remember having this conversation with, one of our mutual friends who’s a male, Jenny, and just talking about this idea.
And I said, well, your wife probably experiences this too. Oh, I don’t know. I go, oh, no, no, no.
She’s a female in the world today. She absolutely has issues with the way she looks, and what she eats. Like, it just is what it is, it’s so much a part of our psyche. We don’t even know that it is. ~ Julie
And if you ask my husband, I don’t know if he would go, well, yes, she has disordered eating, but he does go, well, we can’t go there because my wife doesn’t eat anything that’s there.
So I don’t know if they even know, but I think every female, certainly in the in the United States, has gone through periods, could be going through periods just to junk in their head around their well-being in different areas, whether that’s their nutrition, their weight, their movements, their emotional health, their mental health, all of that.
That’s all pieces of the puzzle. And if you’re female, you’ve probably struggled with any or all of that.
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Jenny [00:09:48]:
Now you said, you know, obviously, you knew because of how you’re wired, like, you had to move. Otherwise, your brain didn’t just literally didn’t work correctly. You were designed for movement so that my brain could work correctly.
And so in some way, that was naturally ingrained in you. But, like, let’s just come to the shared understanding that we are all educated enough to understand that moving our bodies is good for us. And however, that can look very different. Different seasons of life.
There’s good and bad you know, there’s pros and cons and different types of types of movement.
But we can all agree that, like, 20 to 30 minutes a day minimum is whether to take the dog for a walk, do whatever. Like, that is a must in our well-being. ~Jenny
If we’re capable, we need to. We need to move our bodies. And you even talk about nutrition, of course. We all know that the better we fuel our bodies with better types of food, the better our bodies function. Like, we understand that. And there are so many tools and noise. There’s so much noise over those 2 specifically.
And I think we’re seeing it a lot more as women. Isn’t it funny, though? So you just said, as women, we’ve had these things about body image and food shoved on us. And so now we are seeing people talking about midlife and Uh-huh. Pretty plus and the, in social media and in whatever. And what are the hot button items again? Uh-huh. It is Uh-huh. Body image. It’s lift heavier.
This is the specific movement that is best for you at this age and this is you need to eat more protein and this is the specific nutrition. Are they wrong? No. However, that’s not the only piece. Are they important? Yes. You as a human being need to figure out the movement nutrition stuff. And there’s lots of really amazing pools out there.
And make sure whatever you’re listening to, do your research. Find someone you know and respect. But let’s talk about the other parts because I feel like those are the parts that people don’t talk about.
So, Julie, define what is well-being? What is a full spectrum of well-being?
Holistic Well-Being
Julie [00:12:08]:
The discussion goes beyond physical health, exploring the need to address mental and emotional aspects. From therapy to quiet self-reflection, it’s critical to manage not just the food we consume but the emotional baggage we carry.
When I think of well-being, I think of one part of my body that I think of and it is my brain. I think of my brain being calm. When I am in a state of well-being, my brain is calm. It is in flow. It is peaceful. And I feel positive.
And it really has nothing to do with the number on a scale or that, and yet it does, and yet it does. Because moving my body in ways that make me feel good and strong contributes to my brain being calm and at peace.
Fueling my body with foods that I know and believe me, I have gone through a heck of a journey my entire life with digestive issues and IBS and food sensitivities and all of this kind of stuff and fueling my body in a way that feels good and right to me that is not tied to anything that’s going on in my head about what I could or should or should not be eating.
What habits contribute to my personal well-being and calm my brain?
- When I fuel my body in a way that feels good and right to me, my brain is calm.
- When I am reading good stuff, when I’m taking good stuff into my body, into my brain, my brain feels calm.
- When I’m doing therapy and getting the stuff out of my brain that doesn’t work, my brain feels calm.
- When I’m having good connected relationships and shared experiences… shared experiences is a really big thing for me.
I always say love languages, or gift giving is a love language for me, but so is shared experiences, which is why, you know, my husband and I will just go over to the parks or something and just walk around.
We just walk around Magic Kingdom. We’re not, we don’t have to, he thinks we have a ride, but we don’t really have to ride a ride.
We’re just having this shared experience. My brain is calm.
So there are these pieces that you hear more about to your point. Lift heavy weights. Eat more protein. Awesome.
But I’m just gonna tell you right now that eating a hamburger is not gonna unpack your generational baggage, and you’re probably not gonna feel your best until you work through some of the junk that you’re carrying, and we’re all carrying junk. We’re all carrying junk.
It was so interesting. I saw this social media post from a woman who I think is very good. I wanna make sure that there’s no ill intention with any of this. Everyone’s just trying to help everybody. Right?
We’re all trying to help everybody, whatever. And she had some sort of macro tracking sheet. Jenny, when I tell you, it was, like, 2,500 comments underneath of women wanting this macro tracking sheet. Now can a macro tracking sheet help you? Of course, it can.
The Social Media Effect on Personal Well-Being
But do you know why there are 2,000 comments underneath that? Because tracking your macros feels easier than going to therapy. Tracking your macros feels easier than writing in a journal and getting the stuff out of your brain.
Tracking your macros feels easier than sometimes moving your body. Tracking your macros feels easier than having a hard conversation with your spouse or your child or whatever, or the actual work that will help you feel your best.
And I just was so frustrated at seeing it. I was both, like, yay, I’m glad to see women wanting to take control of their physical well-being, but I was also very frustrated because I’m like, this is not the only thing.
You can track your macros all day long, but if you are not figuring out your generational baggage and your limiting beliefs and the stories that you’re telling yourself, it’s not gonna matter. ~Julie
I get very passionate about this.
Jenny [00:16:03]:
And you just triggered something in me too in a good way. Raise your hand if you’ve ever used fitness and nutrition to control the crazy things…
I did. Of course, we all did. I don’t remember seasons of my life when I was a young teen where I dealt with anything that you classified as full on disordered eating.
Did I sometimes eat one less chicken patty at lunch so that I looked good in my homecoming dress? Sure. Yeah. But, like, nothing extreme.
Okay? Nothing extreme. I fortunately did not deal with that as a teen. However, a time that I can remember as an adult where I was, like, full on in committed to, like, checking that box and doing them, actually lifting heavy weights and following this, like, really, like, strict nutrition plan, I, was doing it in actually a very healthy and balanced way.
However, my motivation behind it was very much tied to what helped me stay so rigid in that because I didn’t wanna deal with all the stuff that was going on over here. That was actually stuff that mattered way more in my life whether or not I could make that checklist on those things. So I think
Sometimes fitness is therapy. Yes. Very much. It is a therapy.
It does help your mental well-being. 1,000 percent. We are in agreement with that. However, it is not fitness and nutrition is not the full spectrum of well-being. Correct. And that’s what we wanna unpack.
Heavy Lifting Can Help Your Mental Health & Well-Being
Julie [00:17:50]:
Because, you know, especially right last summer, especially, and then right after Jesse left, which was hard for me just to have a child in Hong Kong, that was just a hard thing to kind of embrace because you can’t get to someone in Hong Kong.
Like, I can get to someone in DC or LA. I can’t get to them. And I have been lifting heavy weights, you know, but I started lifting heavier weights.
Because if your weight is heavy enough, to your point, both negatively and positively, you can’t think about anything else. So that’s both a negative and a positive.
Because in those moments, I couldn’t think that I was sad. So that was a positive because for 45 minutes, I had 45 minutes where I would make sure that my weights were heavy enough where I didn’t think about or live in that kind of sadness, which is part of a transition into midlife and empty nesting.
There is sadness and grief because you’re letting go of something else and stepping into something else. So there’s the positive of let me pick up heavy enough weight so that I can’t think about anything else because if I do, I’ll drop this weight on my face and that will not be cute.
And then to your point, there is the let me try to almost outrun, out exercise my feelings…
My calories. My feelings. Feelings. And sometimes for me, also my calories. You know? So, of course, that’s all intertwined in there. So there’s so it’s finding… when you’re talking about that one piece of the well-being puzzle, it is really, again, back to being curious, getting curious and and being willing to push yourself and challenge yourself physically in a way that does make you feel amazing on the other side of it, but not like you pushed it down or pushed away anything, or you were trying to what what’s your motivation and your intent to kind of motivation.
So sometimes that workout is to your point. It is a little bit of therapy and you’re like, thank goodness thank goodness for it. It’s what I used after my dad died. Like, it was my therapy.
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Just go move my body for an hour. I can deal with this grief on the other side of it. So there’s some huge positive benefits to it.
When it becomes like you’re trying to outrun your calories or outrun your feelings and you don’t wanna deal with it, that’s when it’s taken a turn for the dark side. So, you know, it’s an essential piece of well-being, but it’s got it’s got its place.
5 Pieces of the Well-Being Puzzle
- Movement
- Fuel
- Personal Growth
- Therapy
- Shared Experiences
Jenny [00:20:25]:
Yeah. So when you were talking, I wrote down 5 basically, 5 pieces of well-being. And its movement.
Strong and healthy bodies help contribute to our overall well-being.
It’s how we fuel those strong and healthy bodies and, you know, using the example of, you know, your body is like a vehicle. Let’s if it’s a Rolls Royce, let’s put the Rolls Royce type gasoline in there and not the, you know, the other stuff.
Assigning accountability for food choices and lifestyle
Julie [00:20:53]:
Well, I think we also know, like, I don’t know if anyone if this is gonna trigger anyone or not, but I we are grown ups on this podcast. And I think we know that going through Chick-Fil-A on a regular basis is not healthy for us. It doesn’t make us feel our best. Now having something like that as an occasional treat, awesome.
Whatever works for you. But if you really assess how you feel after some of your choices, do they make you feel your best? And if the answer is no, we’re grown ups here. And no one’s making you go through it.
I’ve had this conversation with moms who are like, but my child wants the blah blah blah. I’m like, I’m sorry. Is your child making the money and going to the grocery? No.
They are not. You are. Stop buying it. Stop buying it. Stop acting like it’s your kid that wants it. So I just want us to really fully acknowledge that we are grown ups here.
And most of the time most of the time, there are nuances, of course, but most of the time, we know what we should be eating.
That’s all. Just so just so if we could just acknowledge that, I think that that’s important.
Jenny [00:22:13]:
I acknowledge that. Alright. So we have movement, we have fuel, and then the next 3 was personal growth, but or development, but which said it’s what we’re putting in our brains.
Sometimes when we say personal growth, people automatically think, like, podcasts… Or maybe they think of a book or an audiobook. But, like, it’s also what is your brain consuming on social media, the type of music you’re listening to.
It’s anything that’s noise coming in visually or sound into your brain, that is a piece of well-being. And then the 5th one that you said or I’m sorry. The next one was therapy, which is what you’re getting out of your brain.
And then the last one being that shared experience or, like, community. Those relationships with people outside of yourself. And so yeah. So movement, fuel, personal growth, therapy, and shared experiences.
All of it contributes to that. So on that track, you know, so especially for women in midlife or just transitional seasons of life or just women. Period.
What would be some, like, recommendations you would have in the, like, in that space, in that, mental and emotional well-being space?
What are things that have worked really well for you and that you would really encourage others to do?
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Proactive Step Toward Improved Well-Being: What Are You Allowing Into Your Brain?
Julie [00:23:46]:
I encourage everyone to be so cognizant and so intentional about literally what you’re taking into your brain. And that truly does mean that, you know, as you said, from the music you listen to, the TV shows you watch, the stuff all of it.
And I was just reading John Deloney’s book, and he in, Own Your Stories, Change Your Future, I think is the exact title of it. We’ll link it in the show notes.
And he was talking about how, you know, he would watch these people in his life have very stressful jobs, and they would come home to, like, chaotic family lives, and then they would be consuming, like, true crime podcasts and watching SVU unit blah blah blah blah blah, and and dark movies or all the and he’s like, no wonder your brain feels like it’s on fire all the time because your job is chaos, your your home life feels chaos, and then you are deliberately choosing stuff that you’re putting in it that is also kind of chaotic.
And to me, it’s kind of the same when people talk about their social media feed. They’re like, it’s just so negative.
And I’m always thinking, really, because mine’s not… mine’s full of Disney and fitness and positivity, because I’ve made it that way. And we don’t turn the TV on here in our house during the day whatsoever.
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My husband still does consume a little too much news on his phone, and I’m always like, what are you doing? He’s like, I just need to stay informed. I’m like, I feel like if we’re being invaded by aliens, we’ll know.
Someone will tell me something that I need to know.
I just think that intentionality is behind what you’re putting in your brain and because it’s really easy to not be. It’s really easy to get in the car and whatever’s playing is playing. And I feel like I’ve always been that way.
Self-reflection on how these habits might be impacting younger family members and the importance of modeling positive behavior
I don’t know if that’s just the way that I’ve been wired. But when I had children, I got even more intentional, and I got, as my girls would say, very strict, and we were listening to… it was Disney, it was classical, sometimes it was classical Disney, sometimes bucket 2, or audio books or I mean, I was so cognizant, strict, intentional about what they were consuming in their head.
I was so constant, strict, and intentional about what they were putting in their brains on the TV. It was PBS. It, you know, it was and I didn’t care if anyone thought we were silly or whatever. They’ve turned out pretty good.
And I think that that’s a testament to what’s going on in your brain. It’s gonna come out in some way, and it’s gonna affect your demeanor and how you operate and you’re almost like your default setting.
You know, your default setting is your default setting nobody had the whole world’s out to get me. Is your default setting, I’m sure this will all work out or, you know, what’s your default setting? And some of that might be nature, but some of it might be nurture.
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Daily Habits For A Life On Purpose With Purpose
Success Comes from Habits not Motivation. Do you desire more success in your life? Do you desire more freedom in your life?
It all begins with your habits.
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Jenny [00:27:48]:
Well, it’s interesting because we recognize it in our kids. We recognize, man, where did they get that, where did they get that attitude from? Where did they get that sass from?
And you’re, like, you know, the default used to be, like, oh, it must be someone at school. And now you’re, like, that’s probably a freaking show they’ve been I’ve been letting them watch and not paying attention to.
Time to turn that show off. So we can recognize it in our kids so much, but we don’t always recognize it in ourselves. Right. Right.
You know? And that self reflection of, like, why do why am I so grumpy? What is going on? And it’s being able to have that self reflection and be like, well, what am I consuming on a daily basis in my brain that might be contributing to this or the conversations I’m getting involved with.
Julie [00:28:34]:
Well and also, if you are going if you’re in perimenopause or menopause or you’re, you know, you’re kinda moving into that season of life, you already feel a little sideways. So why put anything in your brain that contributes to that and amplifies that.
Like, we really have to think in terms of holistic wellness here that, again, it’s not just lifting heavy weights, and eating more protein. It is all the pieces of the puzzle because if you’re already feeling sideways, whether it’s hormonally or logistically because there are life shifts happening, you’re moving, you’ve lost a job, you lost a parent, whatever.
If you’re already feeling sideways in life, why do you wanna amplify that? Like, everything that you’re doing in your life should be with the one outcome of how can I just feel better?
Creating Harmony In Your Environment
And that is literally everything that’s going on in your life. You know, when I wake up in the morning, once my husband gets out of bed, I turn on our music, and it is instrumental, sometimes classical, just very ambient music so that our house is filled with just lovely music. And also he might be more apt to turn on the TV.
He’s a coach. He might be more apt to turn on the TV, but I have trained him in 30 years. That is not what we do. And the music is on, and I light the candles, and, like, everything I’m doing is trying to get to this place of harmony and peace and calm in my brain because left to its own devices, my brain is having a dance party up there, and that is not well-being to me.
So it’s gotta be the movement. It’s gotta be the fuel. It’s gotta be what’s going into my brain. And then, you know, that 4th one, therapy, what is going out of…
What am I unpacking? And that’s been really key. Oh, and let me tell you this too. When I went to the doctor, just a couple weeks ago for my annual checkup, she said we’re going through all the different things and she’s, like, you know, as you’re shifting into this new season of life, and I’d really like to recommend therapy. I’m like, girl, I’m already there. She’s like, oh, thank goodness. So many women are resistant to it.
Why would you be resistant to something that again is gonna make you feel better?
Jenny [00:30:55]:
Yeah. Well, I think that’s great, you know, so sure we identified 5 things that we feel are Yeah. Can contribute to your well-being. But just as having that compass for yourself. And you said, well-being to me is how my brain functions.
We cannot function without our brain. Okay? Like, in no way, shape, or form can we live our life without our brain working. And so if our well-being is defined around how well our brain is working, then it’s just really making sometimes a list.
What are the things well, one, how do I wanna feel? You defined
- I wanna feel calm
- I wanna feel confident.
- I wanna have peace
- I wanna feel positive
- I want my mindset to feel positive
- I wanna just feel, like, in flow and balance and harmony
So what are the habits that I need to create or I do on a regular basis that contribute to that?
You know, and I think that’s where we have to start is, like, we think if we just do this, you know, fitness or we just do this workout, it’s going to fix the other thing.
It’s like, well, maybe we’re using the wrong compass. They said, get off the scale. Is the scale a piece of data? Because sometimes it does reflect how consistent you are with certain habits, and you’ve done it enough to understand there’s this range that if the scale says a certain range, it usually correlates with them doing these certain habits well or not.
But, like, maybe we just need to use our brain health, our brain function, our brain temperature, whatever you wanna say. That needs to be our compass.
And the habits that we want to align or bring into our daily life or that environment we have to create or we want to create or have control over creating should be feeding positivity positively into our brain health. I think that’s really where people need to take a look at it.
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Julie [00:32:48]:
I thought you were gonna stop after use our brain. I was gonna go yes. Just can we just use our brain?
Jenny [00:32:54]:
Use your brain.
Julie [00:32:57]:
Yes. I agree.
Jenny [00:32:58]:
That’s on the sassier podcast episode? Yes. Exactly. That’s right. Drink your water and use your brain.
Julie [00:33:06]:
But, yeah, I think that you know, again, back to the like, most of us know, and we often think incorrectly that to feel better, it’s gonna take these jagged, enormous changes.
And in my workout today, my favorite trainer, Shaun T, said, you know, drastic change, you don’t have to make drastic change to make drastic change. I’m like, oh, so good.
You don’t have to make drastic change to make drastic change. ~ Shaun T
So you don’t have to change your entire life overnight. You don’t have to go out and buy an entire new weight set, get rid of all carbs in your house, you know, schedule the next 16 hours of therapy.
Encouraging personal responsibility and informed decision-making related to lifestyle and eating habits
You just need to take your step today that leads you closer to what you think well-being is for you.
So if I am using my compass of a calm, positive brain that feels excited and happy, okay, what are these things that are gonna get me a little bit closer to that?
And it doesn’t take long for me to be, like, honest or to go, oh, this is not contributing to that.
So let me get off here. Let me unfollow because I don’t need this in my space. Or, you know, why do I feel why the house feel so weird? Oh, I don’t have my music playing yet. Let me get my music playing now. You know? And it doesn’t take long to go.
I just need to take a few little steps that contribute to my brain. It’s almost like my brain’s taking a breath. Like Yeah. That’s what I want it to feel like. You know, like, it’s just because here’s what else happens.
When my brain starts to relax, so does my body. So some of the stuff that we’re carrying in our body, because as we know our body keeps score, some of that stuff starts to dissipate a little bit too.
You know, the trauma and the limiting beliefs and the junk that you’re carrying, that’s why your neck is sore, your back is sore, all that kind of stuff.
And if you can kinda come at your well-being from all phases, all facets, some of that will start to dissipate a little bit too. It really is, for me, getting my brain to this place where everything just goes, and it’s just calm. It takes work
Jenny [00:35:21]:
It does take work. So what’s step 1? If someone is listening to this right now and they’re like, wow, I’m not, and they they’re they also understand that it doesn’t have to be drastic change.
What would you know, I get that this is a blanket suggestion, but, like, where would you suggest their first move is?
What Is The First Step Towards An Improved Well-Being?
Julie [00:35:45]:
To define what well-being feels like for them.
To decide what words because the words can then lead to the habits and the feelings, what words describe how you want to feel at your most optimal state of wellness? When you feel your best, how do you feel?
I know I feel strong, I feel calm. I feel in flow. I feel positive. I feel productive. I feel like I’m making an impact.
I feel, like, these are all these things that I know that if I’m at my optimal state of wellness, notice not any of them have anything to do with the number on a scale. Although, to your point, that is a point of data, and it should not be overlooked.
But what are these words, these descriptors, these feelings, how do you wanna feel in your optimal state of wellness? Start there because from the because unless you know how you wanna feel, how do you even know what to do?
So you have to start with how you wanna feel before you can start to take a look at what you’re doing now. And so before you start to make shifts and changes in your habits, it’s how I wanna feel.
Now let me just take a look at what’s actually happening in my life now. John Deloney, doctor John Deloney says, you have to get realistic. You have to really get real with yourself and go, here’s what here’s what I’m doing right now.
And then kinda look at what’s happening right now, and is any of that contributing to the feelings that you want? And if it is, awesome.
Yay. Keep it. But if it’s not, then that’s where your shift can change. And maybe you just start with 1. Maybe you just start with just 1. I’m gonna drink more water. I’m gonna just gonna go take a walk every day. I’m gonna whatever that one is.
Because the one will lead to the next and the next. It just will. Because humans like to feel good, so we’ll figure it out. But you have to start with how you wanna feel and then you really have to get real with what you’re doing now.
You know, when I was really deep in it last summer and fall, I had to really get real with myself that my rumination, the thoughts that I was because we’re kind of in control of that, that I kept allowing to go through my brain, were not helping me feel the way I wanted to feel.
So what am I gonna do about it? You know, it was okay. I’ve gotta change something. Something has to shift for me to feel better.
I have to get back into therapy. Okay. Let’s get back into therapy, and let’s get this and now we have a place for those thoughts to go.
So I think that’s just that it just cannot be overstated enough.
- How do you wanna feel?
- What are you doing now?
- What correlates?
- What doesn’t?
- And what tiny little shifts can you start to make?
You don’t have to make drastic changes to make drastic changes.
Jenny [00:38:31]:
Consistency in the little things makes the big things happen.
How Do I Know My Daily Habits Are Working To Improve My Well-Being?
Julie [00:38:33]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And what’s interesting is, you know, just kinda talking about the scale, I’ve gone to the same doctor for I still go to my doctor in Indiana because I love her. And I have stayed at the same place on the scale for, like, the last 10 years.
And I find that so interesting because I used to have such a warped relationship with the scale. And so now I go and I’m like, And I literally go I literally do that. I go, Interesting. But what I let that do for me is tell me if my habits are working.
I let that one piece of data tell me if my habits are working. You can do that with anything that’s happening in your life. You know, what are you listening to? Does it make you feel good?
That’s what you tell you if your habits are working. How do you feel when you’re taking a walk?
Does that tell you that your habits are working?
How does your digestive system work?
How are you sleeping at night?
How are your relationships?
Are you getting out and having fun? Are you making time for fun?
All of it tells you, are your habits working?
And if I would see that number start to shift, it’s not, oh my gosh, I’m a horrible person. It’s, have my habits shifted or changed? Can I do something about that? Can I make a small shift here?
We can do that with anything. Am I not having shared experiences or fun in my day? How am I if I stop making time for that, we can do something about that. So rather than just focusing on the physical part of it, the scale, the lifting, the nutritional part of it, the protein, the tracking of the macros, whatever.
Allowing those to be in your pie chart, allowing those to be 2 pieces of the pie, filling that in with the other pieces that contribute to how you wanna feel, and then assessing your habits and your actions with how they are contributing to that.
Clear eyed, no judgment, not about being a bad or good person, just simply are my habits contributing to how I wanna feel?
And if they are, yay. If they’re not, where can I make some small changes? And if we can keep it that simple and stop making it so drama, we can stop the drama.
Jenny [00:40:47]:
No drama. No self drama. No drama. Without their own stress free zone.
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Julie [00:40:51]:
And we could just stop the drama around it and stop making it harder than it really has to be, I think we can really start to use the tools with less emotional attachment to them for us to feel our best.
Jenny [00:41:02]:
When you often said too, like, we’re all better humans on the other side of a sweat, but really that sweat is the work. And we’re afraid, you know, so we have to get over being afraid to do the work.
If we want to tap into our best selves, if we want to, become the best version of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, we have to be willing to do the work.
And if whichever one of those areas, like you said, your habits or things are a little off kilter, like we said in our last episode, get over yourself. Who cares what people think? It’s important to you because it’s important to your well-being.
Do the work and things so the work might feel hard in the moment, but the long term results of that work, you’re gonna be so much happier that you put in that effort.
Julie [00:41:52]:
Your brain feels better. So this was good. I hope this helped some. I hope this helped. I hope this helps you if you as you’re on your wellness journey, your well-being journey. And I hope what it does is open a conversation, that it doesn’t come across as I mean, yes.
I’ve been doing fitness for a long time, in the health wellness space for a long time, but lord knows nobody has all the answers, and information changes all the time. And one of the signs of, you know, peep intelligence is that you’re willing to change your opinion.
So I’m always looking at the stuff, and I’m looking at the data, and I’m trying to figure stuff out and going to therapy, and reading the books, listening to the podcast, and doing all the things.
So it’s not that this is the only way to look at it, but what I hope it does is open up a conversation for you with you. A conversation for you with you feeling your optimal state of health? And if not, how can you make some small shifts in calibrations to get there?
Because I think it’s easier than what you think. And when you combine your well-being with your purpose in the 3rd piece, which we’ll talk about in another episode, now we are clicking on all the cylinders and you and you really are stepping into that best life that you wanna create.
So let us know, send us thoughts, ideas, comments, anything that that came up as you were listening to this. I understand kinda talking about health and wellness can be a little bit triggering.
I understand that. I, myself, can be triggered when I’m talking about it, so I get it. And we do need to have the conversations around it because I don’t know about you, but I plan to live to be about 120. So I need all the tools and all the ways to do that.
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