Choosing Your Dream Life: 6 Tactics for Transformation

Overcoming Internal Obstacles and Self-Doubt

I understand the weight of the negative voices in your head, the “can’ts” and “should’s” that make you feel as if you are being crushed under their heavy burden. I know what it feels like to feel trapped, as if your circumstances have built a box around you, hindering you from moving forward. I know what it feels like to be so overwhelmed by self-doubt that you can’t muster up the courage to take even a single step forward.

But listen up, girl. The moment you manage to overcome these obstacles—and believe me, you absolutely have the power to do so—you will find yourself in a place where there’s no need to look back.

Together, we can work to disentangle you from this feeling of being stuck, to guide you towards transformational change in your life. Does all of this sound too good to be true? Does it seem impossible? I assure you, it is not.

Achieving this is not about making grand gestures or drastic changes.

Rather, it’s about making simple (though not necessarily easy), moment-by-moment decisions that incrementally lead you towards the change you want to see in your life.

I hear statements like these from women all the time:

• I can’t fit exercise into my already busy life.
• I should be a better mom.
• I can’t get up early; I’m not a morning person.
• I should lose weight.
• I can’t start my own business.
• I should pay more attention to my husband.
• And a million other crushing frustrations, self-doubts, and discontent

The moment has arrived for us to radically alter our thought processes. The genesis of any change, after all, is in our MIND, the most potent tool we possess. It’s not merely about succumbing to transient feelings; it’s about making conscious and deliberate choices.

With perseverance, we can retrain our brains to shift focus from the immediate void we perceive—the gap—to the ultimate gain that awaits us. We can reprogram ourselves to focus on the rewards of long-term success and not be swayed by the allure of short-term comfort.

The crux of the matter is that this doesn’t require an overwhelming amount of self-discipline or an inordinate amount of will power. It’s not about imposing stringent rules upon ourselves or exercising our will to the point of exhaustion.

Instead, it’s about making choices, one at a time, and understanding that every choice we make takes us one step closer to our goal.

So, let’s choose wisely, let’s choose with purpose. Because every choice we make today is defining our tomorrow.

I don’t always want to get up and work out. But I choose to. I don’t necessarily want to stay up late working on my business. But sometimes I choose to. I often want to make really poor eating choices.

But I choose not to. I’m in control of my decisions—and so are you. We all have the power to craft the life we want, and it comes down to CHOICE.

But I know it’s not always easy. So I want to arm you with some tactics that will help—some tried-and-true ways for CHOOSING WELL and ultimately, changing your life.

6 Tactics for Making Transformational Choices

01. Replace lies with truth

Self-doubts and limiting beliefs are deeply rooted in most of us. These lies not only destroy our self-esteem, but they hold us back from reaching our dreams and being our best selves.

They often sound like this: I’m not skinny enough; People will laugh at me; No one will notice; I’m not strong enough. We all have this negative self-chatter that plays in the background.

But you can squash these lies once and for all. Take a piece of paper or a journal and write down every single self-doubt and limiting belief that comes to mind.

Then next to that, write down something true about yourself that negates or confronts the self-doubt. Speak it out loud.

Realize that you are not defined by your past, your failures, or your struggles.  What you say to yourself can become your reality. Create that on purpose.

02. Make good choices easier

The best choice often isn’t the easiest. Set yourself up for a win by making the right move as simple as possible. One way to do that is to reduce barriers to good choices as much as you can.

For example, instead of keeping your freezer stocked with tempting ice cream, load up on frozen berries or healthier options that will satisfy a sweet craving. Or if social media is becoming a major time suck, consider downloading a tool like the Freedom App to help you better use your time.

Automate, automate, automate to make those choices easier. You can also add cues or triggers into your routine to make good choices easier.

If you know you have trouble waking up in the morning to work out, buy a bedroom timer for your lights so they come on automatically or keep your alarm clock in the bathroom so you have to get up to shut it off.

03. Get the timing right

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “timing is everything.” This definitely holds some truth to it. For me, working out first thing in the morning is a no brainer. I wake up ready to get it done and can move on with my day.

Also, research shows that willpower is at its highest for most of us when we wake up. As the day goes on, our willpower lessens, along with our chances of making the best decisions.

This is precisely why you’ll find that many of the most successful, high-achieving individuals you have the opportunity to meet are often deeply committed to optimizing their morning routines. They don’t just see the morning as a period of time to get through before their day truly begins.

Rather, they understand the immense value of starting their days off right by making powerful, life-enhancing decisions. These choices, whether they involve meditating, exercising, reading, or simply taking a few moments to breathe and reflect, might seem insignificant in isolation.

However, when consistently made, they can accumulate over time to yield significant benefits in the long run, both personally and professionally.

Some great resources on this topic include:

When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel Pink

The 5am Club by Robin Sharma

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.

04. Celebrate your wins

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s all too easy to get swept away in the never-ending cycle of tasks and responsibilities. We often find ourselves so engrossed in ticking off items from our to-do list that we forget to take a moment and acknowledge the hard work we’ve put into achieving our goals.

It’s crucial to pause every once in a while, to reflect upon the journey we’ve undertaken and celebrate the progress made.

Rewarding ourselves for the efforts we’ve made doesn’t have to be grand or extravagant. It could be as simple as treating ourselves to a relaxing hot bath after a long day or taking a short 15-minute coffee break amidst a hectic schedule.

These small acts of self-care can not only uplift our spirits but also provide us with the much-needed momentum to keep moving forward. By doing so, we can maintain our motivation levels and continue striving towards our aspirations, no matter how challenging the path may seem.

Also, researchers have determined that rewards are a key part of habit formation (The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is a great read if you’re interested in this sort of thing). Meeting up with a friend after a workout or going for a massage can be powerful motivators to make better decisions.

Think about what rewards you can build into the healthy habits you’re hoping to form.

05. Find your tribe

Creating a better life for yourself isn’t always an easy road. Surrounding yourself with a powerful community of women can make all the difference. You need people who’ve got your back, who will hold you accountable, cheer you on, sympathize with the hard parts, and celebrate your wins with you.

So often I see women overlooking how incredibly important this is. We weren’t made to do this life alone. Find your people and stick with them!  And don’t be afraid to gently but firmly remove people from your life if they are dragging you down.

We got one shot at this awesome ride…let’s make sure the friends we ride with inspire us.

06. Just freaking do it

We can plan, prepare, and hope for positive change all we want. But at the end of the day, you have to just do it. Work out even if you don’t feel like it. Eat the broccoli when you really want some pie. Have that hard conversation.

Go to bed at a reasonable time. Whatever the best choice is—you have to commit to wanting a better life more than a moment of comfort or fleeting pleasure. Commit and then follow through. You’re in the driver’s seat here. You get to call the shots and create a better life.

I’ve seen firsthand the transformation that’s possible when you just make tiny, moment-by-moment better choices.

Doing this has changed everything for me. And I’ve watched hundreds of other women move forward towards a life that blows all of their own dreams and expectations out of the water.