I know what it feels like to be buried in the “can’ts” and “should’s” of life. To feel boxed in by your life circumstances. To not believe in yourself enough to move forward at all.
But girl, once you blow past all of this—and you totally can—you’ll never look back. Together we can get you unstuck and seeing transformational change in your life. Sound impossible? I promise it’s not. It all comes down to making simple (not easy), moment-by-moment decisions.
I hear statements like these from women all the time:
- I can’t fit exercise into my already busy life.
- I should be a better mom.
- I can’t get up early; I’m not a morning person.
- I should lose weight.
- I can’t start my own business.
- I should pay more attention to my husband.
- And a million other crushing frustrations, self-doubts, and discontent
It’s time to transform our thinking. Because that’s where it starts—in your MIND. It’s not about feeling; it’s about choosing. We can retrain our brains to focus on the gain and not the gap, the long-term wins and not the short-term comfort we seek. We can retrain our brains to understand this is not about massive self-discipline or incredible will power.
It’s about choices.
I don’t always want to get up and work out. But I choose to. I don’t necessarily want to stay up late working on my business. But sometimes I choose to. I often want to make really poor eating choices. But I choose not to. I’m in control of my decisions—and so are you. We all have the power to craft the life we want, and it comes down to CHOICE.
But I know it’s not always easy. So I want to arm you with some tactics that will help—some tried-and-true ways for CHOOSING WELL and ultimately, changing your life.
6 Tactics for Making Transformational Choices
01. Replace lies with truth
Self-doubts and limiting beliefs are deeply rooted in most of us. These lies not only destroy our self-esteem, but they hold us back from reaching our dreams and being our best selves. They often sound like this: I’m not skinny enough; People will laugh at me; No one will notice; I’m not strong enough. We all have this negative self-chatter that plays in the background. But you can squash these lies once and for all. Take a piece of paper or a journal and write down every single self-doubt and limiting belief that comes to mind. Then next to that, write down something true about yourself that negates or confronts the self-doubt. Speak it out loud. Realize that you are not defined by your past, your failures, or your struggles. What you say to yourself can become your reality. Create that on purpose.
02. Make good choices easier
The best choice often isn’t the easiest. Set yourself up for a win by making the right move as simple as possible. One way to do that is to reduce barriers to good choices as much as you can. For example, instead of keeping your freezer stocked with tempting ice cream, load up on frozen berries or healthier options that will satisfy a sweet craving. Or if social media is becoming a major time suck, consider downloading a tool like the Freedom App to help you better use your time. Automate, automate, automate to make those choices easier. You can also add cues or triggers into your routine to make good choices easier. If you know you have trouble waking up in the morning to work out, buy a bedroom timer for your lights so they come on automatically or keep your alarm clock in the bathroom so you have to get up to shut it off.
03. Get the timing right
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “timing is everything.” This definitely holds some truth to it. For me, working out first thing in the morning is a no brainer. I wake up ready to get it done and can move on with my day. Also, research shows that willpower is at its highest for most of us when we wake up. As the day goes on, our willpower lessens, along with our chances of making the best decisions.
That’s why some of the most successful, highest-performing people you meet are often committed to making the most of their mornings. They see the value of starting their days with powerful, life-giving choices that will benefit them in the long run. Some great resources on this topic include: When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel Pink, The 5am Club by Robin Sharma, and The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.
04. Celebrate your wins
It’s really easy to get caught up in the day-to-day to-dos of life and to forget to pause and celebrate a job well done. Taking time to reflect on and reward yourself for hard work and progress (even if it’s just taking a hot bath or a 15-minute coffee break) can uplift your spirits and give you momentum to keep moving forward. Also, researchers have determined that rewards are a key part of habit formation (The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is a great read if you’re interested in this sort of thing). Meeting up with a friend after a workout or going for a massage can be powerful motivators to make better decisions. Think about what rewards you can build into the healthy habits you’re hoping to form.
05. Find your tribe
Creating a better life for yourself isn’t always an easy road. Surrounding yourself with a powerful community of women can make all the difference. You need people who’ve got your back, who will hold you accountable, cheer you on, sympathize with the hard parts, and celebrate your wins with you. So often I see women overlooking how incredibly important this is.
We weren’t made to do this life alone. Find your people and stick with them! And don’t be afraid to gently but firmly remove people from your life if they are dragging you down. We got one shot at this awesome ride…let’s make sure the friends we ride with inspire us.
06. Just freaking do it
We can plan, prepare, and hope for positive change all we want. But at the end of the day, you have to just do it. Work out even if you don’t feel like it. Eat the broccoli when you really want some pie. Have that hard conversation. Go to bed at a reasonable time. Whatever the best choice is—you have to commit to wanting a better life more than a moment of comfort or fleeting pleasure. Commit and then follow through. You’re in the driver’s seat here. You get to call the shots and create a better life.
I’ve seen firsthand the transformation that’s possible when you just make tiny, moment-by-moment better choices. Doing this has changed EVERYTHING for me. And I’ve watched hundreds of other women move forward towards a life that blows all of their own dreams and expectations out of the water. I’d love to help you do this, too, as we head into a bright and beautiful 2019.