In this episode, my guest is author and keynote speaker Kindra Hall. Kindra and I discuss limiting beliefs, the stories we tell ourselves, and how we can design those stories to make positive choices and shape our reality.
Kindra and I talk about when we first met at a conference I attended where she was a keynote speaker. She gave a speech about telling stories in a way that related to health and fitness but actually applied to so many areas of life. We get a little background into her first and second book and how the message came to be. She talks about her journey of starting out as a business book author and moving into the personal development space.
[8:08] The Cycles of Internal Dialogue
Kindra discusses the importance of saying yes or no to life and how our internal dialogue plays into the decisions we make. For example, hitting snooze and skipping your workout: the cycle often repeats itself. There is an invisible step between the event and our response to it- the story behind it. It is subconscious, invisible, and automatic. We need to look at the stories we are telling ourselves if we want change in our lives. Stories are how we make sense of everything. We need to be aware of what those stories are telling us since we are inherently wired for negative bias. Our brains naturally want us to stay safe and never push into the unknown instead of trying and potentially failing. We need to be conscious of how we actively choose the stories that we are putting on repeat.
[15:06] The Stories We Let Run Wild
Back to getting the call for Beachbody. There are common stories we tell ourselves. “I’m not worthy”, “I’m not qualified” etc. Kindra talks about the negative stories she was telling herself at the time and that limiting beliefs and stories run wild in our minds. When faced with an amazing opportunity to speak, she wasn’t ready to accept it because she felt held back by her own limiting beliefs. She took a moment to pause and see how she could rework her story in a way that empowered and supported her instead of holding her back. She shifted the script and listened to how that made her feel. Beliefs either empower us or hold us back, but they encourage us to either do the thing or stop us from doing the thing. In preparation for these moments, you have to have stories ready about why you should go for your dreams.
[24:09] Using Negative Stories for Positive Action
Kindra shares a pivotal moment that helped her rewrite her story around working out. She was boating with friends in the summer, and had been eating and drinking a lot through the pandemic. And instead of being in the moment, and enjoying the time with her friends, she was consumed by feeling gross. She talks about the shame surrounding not wanting to take her cover-up off because she wasn’t happy with how she felt about her body. She shares how she learned that she didn’t want to feel that way and uses that moment for motivation whenever her mind is proposing reasons to not work out. Instead of making excuses, she tells herself that story, remembering how she felt as a result of choices that weren’t in her best interest. That event energizes her and now she feels great when she chooses to prioritize her health and fitness.
[26:31] Self-Awareness and Shaping Your Story
I share my experience with a negative moment that to this day fuels me and motivates me in business. Early on in my business, I didn’t qualify for a success marker at an event, and it felt horrible to me. In that moment, I decided that I would never not qualify again. That story fuels me because I don’t want to feel like that again. There is power in that. Kindra talks about how with stories, we can shape reality as it’s happening. She shares her experience from a moment during the pandemic, where a long-awaited event that she had visualized speaking at for many years was canceled. She was angry and upset. She needed a sign. After talking with a friendly stranger, who reminded her it would all be okay, she got up and walked back to her apartment. She told herself that this was the middle of the story, not the end. She shifted her perspective in thinking about the story that was happening to her in the now and thought about how she would use that story to her advantage in the future.
[32:41] The Commonality in Limiting Beliefs
Kindra and I talk about the similarities in the stories people, in general, tell themselves. There is a commonality in the limiting beliefs and the stories behind those beliefs that hold us back. We talk about our experiences with different people we’ve worked with throughout our careers and the moments or stories from their pasts that lead them to the belief that they had. Perfectionism for example. Kindra shares how one woman could remember a specific moment about not getting a perfect grade on a test, and since then she has been held back by perfectionism. We talk about experiences that turn into stories, and how we continuously tell ourselves those stories, which then manifests those things.
[41:33] Making the Most of Uncertainty
We talk about the uncertainty and unknown of the current times. Kindra talks about her upcoming book release and the challenges that make it feel like it is being released at the wrong time. However, Kindra feels like it actually is a perfect time. The pandemic has stripped us away from our normal patterns in our lives in a way that allows people to take a step back and examine their beliefs. This caused a lot of people to rewire and reprogram their stories going forward. I encourage people to ask themselves if the stories they are telling are serving them. It is a process of redefinition. Kindra talks about how her identity was wrapped up in things that were stripped away, like travel and being on the go. She had to question who she was without those things, and how those stories defined her. She questioned if that was how she wanted to be defined going forward.
[46:00] Conclusion and How to Connect with Kindra
We discuss Kindra’s upcoming book release and she shares the details of how to access it. Please find the resources below. She shares how she is also recording an audiobook and doing live training. We talk about how even though there have been obstacles, this is a perfect time for the book to come out. We are at a unique moment in history wherewith the pandemic, and the approaching new year, we have a blank slate individually and collectively, where we can decide how to move forward. We get to choose our stories. We wrap up with more resources for how to connect with Kindra.
As you listen, please tag me on Instagram and let me know what pieces you are tucking into your own toolbox that help you elevate to your best self. I love hearing from you!
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
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